I think I might have to stop trusting actors. Stop believing them when they say "I'll be back" or "FREEDOM!!!" or "in the poker game of life, women are always the rake" (wait that last one is definitely true). In the movie a League of Their Own, trusted actor, academy award winner and the guy who once jumped around on a big piano, Tom Hanks, uttered the words "Are you crying?!?! There's no crying in baseball!!! There's no crying!!!" Well Mr. Hanks, or should I say Jimmy Dugan, you sir are wrong! After what I saw from America's past time this past week, there unfortuneatley is some crying in baseball (there was also the story of a guy getting shot in the leg ON A TEAM BUS, but he wasn't seriously injured because he was wearing cheerleading boots while dressing up as a USC cheerleader. I don't even know where to begin with that one, so i'll leave it for now).
Last weekend, ANgels outfielder Jose Guillen was pulled from the game for a pinch runner by his manager (and former World Champ as a player with the Dodgers in '88) Mike Soscia. Guillen, who was hitting .297 with almost 30 HR's and 100 RBI, threw a temper tantrum any 3 year old would be proud of. Yelling and cursing and throwing things (his glove, helmet and contempt) in the direction of his manager who was at the other end of the dugout.
Two nights ago Los Angeles Dodger Milton Bradley (insert board game joke here) got into a fight with a fan--in LA!!! With a DODGER FAN!!! Is there something in the water in LA? Bradley had to be restrained by security guards and then was escorted off the field. On his way, he removed his jersey, which as anyone would tell you is always a classy move, and challenged all the fans above the Dodger dugout (again let me point out these were DODGERS FANS) to a fight before disappearing into the clubhouse.
Now, if this were the NBA, you'd see the headcoach and various other people from team management running after their star player, coddling them, cooing at them and promising to make things better. Thankfully, this wasn't the NBA and there's still a few people in baseball who have a backbone. There's still a few lone souls left who believe in this thing called disipline. These are people who probably spanked their kids, actually said the word "no" to their children and didn't give them everything they wanted. Basically they didn't put up with brats, and knew just how to treat these two so called "men" in baseball. Guillen, following a discussion after the game, was suspended for the season--including the playoffs. Scoscia said today that even if the player's association fights to get Guillen's suspension overturned (I can't decide who's going to hell faster--pro owners or the player's associations. It's a dead heat right now), he will not put Guillen on the field the rest of the year, and MLBPA can sue him for all he cares.
In LA, Major League Baseball suspended Bradley for the rest of the season (which is now 4 whole games) and the Dodgers are not going to appeal. Keep in mind, Bradley started the season in Spring Training with Cleveland, where he failed to run out a ground ball, was benched, started crying and throwing another tantrum and was promptly traded to LA two days later. Without their so-called best player, the INdians played far above expectations. LA wanted him, and this is what they get. I'd be showing him the door in the offseason. I'd be keeping him off the post-season roster. Of course I'm one of those few crazy lone souls left who believes in discipline and respect and not catering to brats (closed circuit to TheDan--and I'm a democrat! HA!). I applaud Soscia for his stand. I would have liked to have seen the Dodgers suspend Bradley before MLB did. Bradley said today he's going to change his tune, and get counselling. I'll believe it when I see it.
Baseball players may be THE most spoiled athletes in sports right now--although NBA players are close. But it's nice to see a few examples of people standing up to them, and showing some "old school" values. Crazy things like putting the team first. Who knows? This kind of thinking might actually work...like with the Patriots, Pistons, Flames--oh wait, we no longer have professional hockey, sorry--and the Marlins last year. You know this might just be crazy enough to work. Somebody should alert the Portland Trail Blazers to this. They might want to know. And somebody see if there's any real-life Jimmy Dugans who don't want to put up with crying, sniveling, whining players. The game would be better for it.
Now about the guy in the cheerleading outfit getting shot in the leg...
Thursday, September 30, 2004
Monday, September 27, 2004
Jeremy: Who Needs Cable When You've Got Midgets?
When you don't have cable your daytime television options are limited. Right now I have the option to watch The Price Is Right, The View, Maury Povich, a local variety news program, Celebrity Justice, Judge Joe Brown, or an infomercial about Oreck Vacuum cleaners.
Now the obvious choice, of course is the infomercial. I just can't get enough of that over-the-top David Oreck comedy.
But, perhaps your opinion on the matter will change when I tell you what is on Maury Povich. "Wild Opposites... & They're Madly In Love." You've made a wise choice my friend!
It's important that Maury makes us aware of the fact that somewhere out there a 7 foot woman who is dating a midget. A 22 year old red-head is dating a 63 year old man. A 73 year old blind man is married to a 400 pound gal who happens to be wearing leapord print stretch pants. An adult film star from New York is dating an overweight Hispanic bus diver from Florida. That is just good television!
There's craziness all around us. Thank goodness for Maury Povich.
Here's a couple of quick notes on September 25 and 26 games...
*The beauty that is the Gophers running game continued against N'Western. 251 yards and 3 touchdowns. Does anyone doubt this is the best rushing attack in the country? Maroney and Barber are the top two rushers in the Big 10. There's no joke here, I just had to let that be known.
*The Vikes limped to their second win of the season over the Bad News Bears. Still no sign of Chris Hovan. Also, Onterrio Smith will have his appeal to the league heard in just a couple of bong hits. I mean weeks.
*The Falcons are 3-0 without T.J. Duckett and Vick is not having a particularly good season. What the?
*The marathon known as the Packers/Indy game ended in a Colts win. Suddenly the Pack has two losses and too many guys with dreads.
*USC finally looked like they might be beatable as the mathmaticians from Stanford had them against the ropes. USC's big break came when the Stanford linebackers broke out into a discussion about the many ways to prove the Pythagorean Theorem.
Now the obvious choice, of course is the infomercial. I just can't get enough of that over-the-top David Oreck comedy.
But, perhaps your opinion on the matter will change when I tell you what is on Maury Povich. "Wild Opposites... & They're Madly In Love." You've made a wise choice my friend!
It's important that Maury makes us aware of the fact that somewhere out there a 7 foot woman who is dating a midget. A 22 year old red-head is dating a 63 year old man. A 73 year old blind man is married to a 400 pound gal who happens to be wearing leapord print stretch pants. An adult film star from New York is dating an overweight Hispanic bus diver from Florida. That is just good television!
There's craziness all around us. Thank goodness for Maury Povich.
Here's a couple of quick notes on September 25 and 26 games...
*The beauty that is the Gophers running game continued against N'Western. 251 yards and 3 touchdowns. Does anyone doubt this is the best rushing attack in the country? Maroney and Barber are the top two rushers in the Big 10. There's no joke here, I just had to let that be known.
*The Vikes limped to their second win of the season over the Bad News Bears. Still no sign of Chris Hovan. Also, Onterrio Smith will have his appeal to the league heard in just a couple of bong hits. I mean weeks.
*The Falcons are 3-0 without T.J. Duckett and Vick is not having a particularly good season. What the?
*The marathon known as the Packers/Indy game ended in a Colts win. Suddenly the Pack has two losses and too many guys with dreads.
*USC finally looked like they might be beatable as the mathmaticians from Stanford had them against the ropes. USC's big break came when the Stanford linebackers broke out into a discussion about the many ways to prove the Pythagorean Theorem.
Thursday, September 23, 2004
Jeremy: Don't Spabble On Me
*My fantasy football team (Baxter's Bad Ass Bra Straps) is 1-1. Note: my team is 1-1. I am not. I feel a little detached from my team. In the past I have had a particular affinity for my team, following the individual players, cheering for them, coaching them to greatness. This year? Well, I just can't get through to these guys. Nobody has played at the top of their game yet, and I am just beside myself. Partially I think I am at fault. I need to spend more time getting to know them as people, not just names on a screen that are working to get me points. They do have a bigger purpose, and as long as that purpose get me more points then I'm okay with it.
*Dear Bud Selig: Can we skip the rest of the baseball season and go right to the playoffs?
*Is it possible that what's wrong with USA Basketball is also what's wrong with the U.S. Ryder Cup team? Phil Mickelson switches equipment just weeks before the Ryder Cup. Selfish. Hmmm. Does that sound familiar? I'm not saying that Lefty lost the tournament for us by any means, but it seems that U.S. golfers treat the Ryder Cup similar to how basketball players treat the Olympics: it's important but not as important as the tour. They get more pumped up for the Master's and the U.S. Open than they do for the Ryder Cup. Tiger Woods is the greatest golfer in the world, but his Ryder Cup record is horrendous for a golfer of his merit (5 wins-8 losses-2 draws). What's going on here?
*Is NASCAR still going on?
*Whatever happened to Icky Woods? Remember the Icky shuffle? How much do you think Icky would get fined for doing the Shuffle in Tagliabue's NFL these days?
*Vince Carter is telling the Raptors that he wants out of Toronto. I hope that nobody is surprised by this move. Everytime Vince misses a shot he limps away blaming his misfortune on something else... it must be the Raptors fault that he's the single most over-rated player in the NBA today. Well, maybe not, but whatever it is, it simply can't be because he is a one-dimensional, injury prone, self-serving and defensively inept Nike cash cow.
*Dear Bud Selig: Can we skip the rest of the baseball season and go right to the playoffs?
*Is it possible that what's wrong with USA Basketball is also what's wrong with the U.S. Ryder Cup team? Phil Mickelson switches equipment just weeks before the Ryder Cup. Selfish. Hmmm. Does that sound familiar? I'm not saying that Lefty lost the tournament for us by any means, but it seems that U.S. golfers treat the Ryder Cup similar to how basketball players treat the Olympics: it's important but not as important as the tour. They get more pumped up for the Master's and the U.S. Open than they do for the Ryder Cup. Tiger Woods is the greatest golfer in the world, but his Ryder Cup record is horrendous for a golfer of his merit (5 wins-8 losses-2 draws). What's going on here?
*Is NASCAR still going on?
*Whatever happened to Icky Woods? Remember the Icky shuffle? How much do you think Icky would get fined for doing the Shuffle in Tagliabue's NFL these days?
*Vince Carter is telling the Raptors that he wants out of Toronto. I hope that nobody is surprised by this move. Everytime Vince misses a shot he limps away blaming his misfortune on something else... it must be the Raptors fault that he's the single most over-rated player in the NBA today. Well, maybe not, but whatever it is, it simply can't be because he is a one-dimensional, injury prone, self-serving and defensively inept Nike cash cow.
Friday, September 17, 2004
Jeremy: Amarillo Jer...
I'm pretty typical. The typical guy, I would say. I like simple things that guys like. Sports. Beer. Frank Sinatra. Blondes. Brunettes. Redheads. Trucks. Guitar rock. Chicken wings. Dirty jokes. Country music (okay, not all guys). Camaraderie. Explosions. Red meat.
I know what I like, I don't analyze why I like it, and I don't make apologies for it.
There is one thing, however, that I like that I often feel a little bit guilty about. It's one of those guilty pleasures in life that I don't partake of often, that I don't hang my hat on, and that I fantasize about, but would never actually pursue. I am of course, talking about gambling. When it comes to this guilty pleasure I am most definitely my father's son. With a very healthy dose of discretion.
Last weekend I was in the most testosterone filled situation imaginable to man: a bachelor party. This one had more testosterone than most, however. There were 10 guys at a hunting cabin in the woods. We drove through the mud in our trucks to get there. We drank beer. Told dirty jokes. Shot guns at nothing in particular. Played with fire. Wore cowboys hats. Ate greasy food and meat off of the bone. And for the life of me, besides ripping on the bachelor for his soon to be lack of bachelorhood, I do not remember one single solitary discussion about women. IT WAS FANTASTIC!!!
During the course of the testosterone slinging, we did what red-blooded American men do when it's dark, women aren't around and we need something to arouse us. We played poker. I won't go into the details of the game, mostly because I didn't win. But I also didn't lose. In fact, nobody won.
We were playing with match-sticks and empty shotgun shells as currency. No real money involved. Match-sticks worth one. Shotgun shells worth two. Because no real money was involved, of course, people were reckless. The Dan (our host) went "all-in" on about the fourth hand of the game, and busted out. A couple of hands later, Tim did the same. Followed not long after by Grusmama and Luke. Chris, Mark, Collins and myself seemed to be the only guys not betting the farm on mediocre hands.
Now I would never go so far as to say that any of these gents are bad poker players. Dan was the first to go out and I know for a fact that he is, in fact, quite good at poker. I would say that I am a serviceable poker player. I know the ropes, I know what to look for, but I only know how to play the cards in my hand, and I don't know how to play the other players. In the end the guy with the most match-sticks and shotgun shells (Collins) quit because he was bored, so the rest of us bowed out as well. The bottom line? There was no money in this game, so there was no heart in this game, therefore, no real game. If even two dollars per man were involved, a modest amount, the game would have been more balanced, people would have bet more conservatively and it would have been fun. As it was we only stood to lose what we never had in the first place and only stood to win what we never wanted anyway. So why did it matter if it took 5 minutes or 5 hours to lose?
So here's what I learned. I don't like poker. I like gambling.
In a real poker game, if you are like me and you don't know how to read other players "tells," all you can play is your cards and your stack. If your stack isn't worth a hill of beans to you then all you are really playing is your cards. At this point you aren't playing a game against anyone, you are just hoping against the odds that you get the cards you want.
The game is Texas Hold 'Em. Say you have the jack of hearts and the 4 of spades. If it was a real poker game, money involved, you might not even be in the hand because you know that the odds are not in your favor. But since it's match-sticks and shotgun shells, you stay in the hand, because there is a very unrealistic chance that two more jacks could fall, or two more fours, etc. Again, an unrealistic chance, but a chance nonetheless. The cards fall, they don't help you, but the guy next to you bets. At this point you don't really have a chance, but you now change your strategy on this hand from a shot in the dark (which was a bad strategy in the first place) to a bluff (which at this point is an even worse strategy). But again, it's not dollars, quarters or even pennies. It's match-sticks.
You see where I'm going with this. If everyone agreed to play the game strait up, with limits, as if they had real money, this kind of game of poker might have a chance of being entertaining. But because it's not money, even if people agree, they can't stick to it. And even if they can stick to it, IT'S STILL NOT REAL MONEY. Money is what makes the game exciting and interesting. No matter how small the amount of money is. Money is the thing that makes your heart beat faster when the flop falls and you've suddenly got three-of-a-kind. During our match-stick game I had a full-house fall to me on the flop and instead of my heart jumping up to my throat my first thought was "oh, crap, who is going to be the first to make a stupid bet so that I have to make what looks like a stupid bet to stay in this hand?" Do you know what the odds are of getting a full house on the flop in Hold 'Em? I don't either, but it's not high. And I wasn't even excited!!!
So it appears that I don't have a gambling problem, I have an excitement problem. I need excitement. And the thing that excites me about poker and blackjack isn't the games, it's the miniscule amounts of money that I put on the line in order to play them. And therein lies the rub.
I know what I like, I don't analyze why I like it, and I don't make apologies for it.
There is one thing, however, that I like that I often feel a little bit guilty about. It's one of those guilty pleasures in life that I don't partake of often, that I don't hang my hat on, and that I fantasize about, but would never actually pursue. I am of course, talking about gambling. When it comes to this guilty pleasure I am most definitely my father's son. With a very healthy dose of discretion.
Last weekend I was in the most testosterone filled situation imaginable to man: a bachelor party. This one had more testosterone than most, however. There were 10 guys at a hunting cabin in the woods. We drove through the mud in our trucks to get there. We drank beer. Told dirty jokes. Shot guns at nothing in particular. Played with fire. Wore cowboys hats. Ate greasy food and meat off of the bone. And for the life of me, besides ripping on the bachelor for his soon to be lack of bachelorhood, I do not remember one single solitary discussion about women. IT WAS FANTASTIC!!!
During the course of the testosterone slinging, we did what red-blooded American men do when it's dark, women aren't around and we need something to arouse us. We played poker. I won't go into the details of the game, mostly because I didn't win. But I also didn't lose. In fact, nobody won.
We were playing with match-sticks and empty shotgun shells as currency. No real money involved. Match-sticks worth one. Shotgun shells worth two. Because no real money was involved, of course, people were reckless. The Dan (our host) went "all-in" on about the fourth hand of the game, and busted out. A couple of hands later, Tim did the same. Followed not long after by Grusmama and Luke. Chris, Mark, Collins and myself seemed to be the only guys not betting the farm on mediocre hands.
Now I would never go so far as to say that any of these gents are bad poker players. Dan was the first to go out and I know for a fact that he is, in fact, quite good at poker. I would say that I am a serviceable poker player. I know the ropes, I know what to look for, but I only know how to play the cards in my hand, and I don't know how to play the other players. In the end the guy with the most match-sticks and shotgun shells (Collins) quit because he was bored, so the rest of us bowed out as well. The bottom line? There was no money in this game, so there was no heart in this game, therefore, no real game. If even two dollars per man were involved, a modest amount, the game would have been more balanced, people would have bet more conservatively and it would have been fun. As it was we only stood to lose what we never had in the first place and only stood to win what we never wanted anyway. So why did it matter if it took 5 minutes or 5 hours to lose?
So here's what I learned. I don't like poker. I like gambling.
In a real poker game, if you are like me and you don't know how to read other players "tells," all you can play is your cards and your stack. If your stack isn't worth a hill of beans to you then all you are really playing is your cards. At this point you aren't playing a game against anyone, you are just hoping against the odds that you get the cards you want.
The game is Texas Hold 'Em. Say you have the jack of hearts and the 4 of spades. If it was a real poker game, money involved, you might not even be in the hand because you know that the odds are not in your favor. But since it's match-sticks and shotgun shells, you stay in the hand, because there is a very unrealistic chance that two more jacks could fall, or two more fours, etc. Again, an unrealistic chance, but a chance nonetheless. The cards fall, they don't help you, but the guy next to you bets. At this point you don't really have a chance, but you now change your strategy on this hand from a shot in the dark (which was a bad strategy in the first place) to a bluff (which at this point is an even worse strategy). But again, it's not dollars, quarters or even pennies. It's match-sticks.
You see where I'm going with this. If everyone agreed to play the game strait up, with limits, as if they had real money, this kind of game of poker might have a chance of being entertaining. But because it's not money, even if people agree, they can't stick to it. And even if they can stick to it, IT'S STILL NOT REAL MONEY. Money is what makes the game exciting and interesting. No matter how small the amount of money is. Money is the thing that makes your heart beat faster when the flop falls and you've suddenly got three-of-a-kind. During our match-stick game I had a full-house fall to me on the flop and instead of my heart jumping up to my throat my first thought was "oh, crap, who is going to be the first to make a stupid bet so that I have to make what looks like a stupid bet to stay in this hand?" Do you know what the odds are of getting a full house on the flop in Hold 'Em? I don't either, but it's not high. And I wasn't even excited!!!
So it appears that I don't have a gambling problem, I have an excitement problem. I need excitement. And the thing that excites me about poker and blackjack isn't the games, it's the miniscule amounts of money that I put on the line in order to play them. And therein lies the rub.
Saturday, September 11, 2004
Jeremy: Don't you smell that smell?
In the words of a fine poet: "Ooooh, that smell. Can't you smell that smell? Ooooh, that smell. The smell of it surrounds you." Okay, so the poet is Ronnie Van Zant, the lead singer from Lynard Skynard. Still, do you smell that? The leaves. No, not that. The cooler air? No, not that. Clean sweatshirts to keep us warm? No, not that either.
Football. I'm talking about football. Do you smell it? It's the sweetest smell in the world. It's the smell of life being breathed back into us. The smell of testosterone and bratwurst and beer and... well, of everything that's good and wholesome and American.
College football opened last weekend, but this weekend, without further delay, there's nothing more to wait for, because all forms of football are officially now in full swing. It hit me late Thursday night. It was about 11:30 p.m. (CST) and I was in the process of picking Jim Kleinsasser as the token Viking for my fantasy football team. I always have trouble believing my gut when it tells it tells me to trust a Viking to anchor my fantasy team. This year it wasn't an issue. I had the first overall pick in our keeper league (LaDainian Tomlinson), so I didn't have to choose again until pick 20 (Matt Hasselbeck). By that time Moss and Daunte were long gone, so I had no internal dilemma this year. Still, I have to have ONE Wiking don't I? Seems reasonable. But I digress.
Anyway, that's about the time that it hit me. I started singing. "It's the most wonderful tiiiiiiimmmmmme of the year." Forget that Christmas crap (at least for the sake of this post). THIS is the time of year when my senses are most acute, when I have the excitement and wonderment of a child. During football season each weekend is like opening it's very own specially wrapped present, and the gift is for you and I to share. It's for the whole world to open and enjoy and revel in until... yes, the next present. And the next present comes only ONE WEEK LATER!!! And do you know what the beauty of these presents are? It's never underwear!!! You will never go to bed on a Sunday night during football season saying "well, I guess that was okay, but I was hoping for baseball." And even if you did, guess what? Football gives itself a chance to redeem itself one last time each week on (queue Hank Williams Jr.) Monday Night Football.
My goodness. I'm sweating. I got a little fired up there. This is the most wonderful time of the year. I will fight to the death on this. No other sport even comes close to football in its purity. No other sport touches it in terms of anticipation. Every other sport oversaturates itself to the public (except for college hockey). And nobody is passionate like football fans. (I would tell you that my body isn't shaking, ever so slightly, right now, but that would be a lie.)
Honestly, if the Gophers and the Vikings lose on the same weekend it takes me a minimum of 96 hours before I get back into a good mood. (I still haven't recovered from how the Gophs crapped the bed against Michigan last year or how the Vikes let the Cards keep them out of the playoffs.) I'm a mess after a double-loss weekend. I've had relationships that don't affect me this much. No lie.
So welcome back football. Baseball is fickle. Hockey and basketball are corrupt. And they all drag on far too long. Even the Olympics couldn't quench our thirst for real sport. We've been waiting patiently for you all this time.
Welcome back! (Queue "Welcome Back Cotter" music) WELCOME BACK, WELCOME BACK, WELCOME BAAAACK!!!
Football. I'm talking about football. Do you smell it? It's the sweetest smell in the world. It's the smell of life being breathed back into us. The smell of testosterone and bratwurst and beer and... well, of everything that's good and wholesome and American.
College football opened last weekend, but this weekend, without further delay, there's nothing more to wait for, because all forms of football are officially now in full swing. It hit me late Thursday night. It was about 11:30 p.m. (CST) and I was in the process of picking Jim Kleinsasser as the token Viking for my fantasy football team. I always have trouble believing my gut when it tells it tells me to trust a Viking to anchor my fantasy team. This year it wasn't an issue. I had the first overall pick in our keeper league (LaDainian Tomlinson), so I didn't have to choose again until pick 20 (Matt Hasselbeck). By that time Moss and Daunte were long gone, so I had no internal dilemma this year. Still, I have to have ONE Wiking don't I? Seems reasonable. But I digress.
Anyway, that's about the time that it hit me. I started singing. "It's the most wonderful tiiiiiiimmmmmme of the year." Forget that Christmas crap (at least for the sake of this post). THIS is the time of year when my senses are most acute, when I have the excitement and wonderment of a child. During football season each weekend is like opening it's very own specially wrapped present, and the gift is for you and I to share. It's for the whole world to open and enjoy and revel in until... yes, the next present. And the next present comes only ONE WEEK LATER!!! And do you know what the beauty of these presents are? It's never underwear!!! You will never go to bed on a Sunday night during football season saying "well, I guess that was okay, but I was hoping for baseball." And even if you did, guess what? Football gives itself a chance to redeem itself one last time each week on (queue Hank Williams Jr.) Monday Night Football.
My goodness. I'm sweating. I got a little fired up there. This is the most wonderful time of the year. I will fight to the death on this. No other sport even comes close to football in its purity. No other sport touches it in terms of anticipation. Every other sport oversaturates itself to the public (except for college hockey). And nobody is passionate like football fans. (I would tell you that my body isn't shaking, ever so slightly, right now, but that would be a lie.)
Honestly, if the Gophers and the Vikings lose on the same weekend it takes me a minimum of 96 hours before I get back into a good mood. (I still haven't recovered from how the Gophs crapped the bed against Michigan last year or how the Vikes let the Cards keep them out of the playoffs.) I'm a mess after a double-loss weekend. I've had relationships that don't affect me this much. No lie.
So welcome back football. Baseball is fickle. Hockey and basketball are corrupt. And they all drag on far too long. Even the Olympics couldn't quench our thirst for real sport. We've been waiting patiently for you all this time.
Welcome back! (Queue "Welcome Back Cotter" music) WELCOME BACK, WELCOME BACK, WELCOME BAAAACK!!!
Monday, September 06, 2004
Jeremy: Gophers: 704 yards of Whoopass!!!
I think that most, if not all, of my friends and family would agree that I'm a "glass is half-full kind of guy." True, I have a healthy skepticism about life. True, I have a decidedly over-exaggerated anger toward some things. But for the most part, I have a positive attitude towards life. (Truthfully, I've always believed that instead of "Is the glass half-full or half-empty," a better question is "What's in the glass?")
With this in mind I would like to begin by talking about what I found to be particularly "half-empty" about my beloved Gophers performance on Saturday night. My biggest complaint all of last year was that the defensive pass rush was incredibly weak. Rushing only 3 guys most of the time and almost never blitzing is not the way to win in the Big 10. I think the Gophers proved that last year. Saturday night against Toledo this still seemed to be the case. I don't recall seeing even one hard blitz, and once again, usually only 3 men going after the quarterback. And even when they did blitz it was with a late linebacker that didn't seem to make much of an extra push. They did seem to be doing a little bit more stunt rushing than last year, but that was the only change I could see. The entire second half my uncle and I were constantly yelling "where's the pass rush?" That's my complaint.
But guess what? That's it!!!
My favorite sports columnist Sid Hartman (cough!!!) is already calling the Gophers underrated. I won't go that far, but I will say that the Gophs already looked like a well-oiled machine on Saturday night.
My biggest concern going into this season was probably everybody's biggest concern: quarterback. Brian Cupito still has not taken a snap in a big time college football game, but what he did on Saturday night should put everyone's fears at least to the side for the time being. I know it did mine.
First his stat-line. 10 completions on 12 attempts, 279 yards in the air and one touchdown. Gopher receivers were wide open all night and time after time Cupito found them and hit them in stride. He showed an unbelievable poise in the pocket, an incredible accuracy on his throws and an ability to throw on the run. It was clear from the first series that I saw him play that not only was it his turn to be under center, but he was ready to be there, he was comfortable being there, and he was going to make the most of the opportunity.
My knock on Abdul Khaliq was always that he was a great athlete, but he just was not a good decision maker. I'm not here to bash Khaliq, he led us to some incredible wins. But he continually had trouble recognizing open receivers, when he did find them he had trouble hitting them with catchable passes, and he often opted to run over throwing to an open receiver. He was a great runner, but that was the greatest dimension he brought to the offense: his threat to run. Cupito does not have the athletic ability, the cannon of an arm, the threat to run or the size of Khaliq, but what he brings to the offense is going to bring a dimension to this team that should be very fun to watch.
The rest of the offense followed their new leader without missing a beat. 415 yards on the ground, 289 yards through the air. Do the math! That's right: 704 yards of total offense (second most in school history).
The offensive line was UN-BE-LIEVABLE. Cupito had all the time to throw in the world all night long. Jared Ellerson continued as the featured receiver with over 100 yards receiving on only 4 catches.
The run blocking was obviously adequate, although I thought they could have opened up some bigger holes. The Barber/Maroney Show along with their new sidekick Amir Pinnix produced 5 touchdowns on the ground. A note on Barber. He is probably my favorite part about watching this team. With his speed and quickness you would think that he would run around people. But instead, when he is confronted by a potential tackler, he lowers his shoulder and tries to go through them. He runs like he actually WANTS to hit people. Punter Rhys Lloyd even joined in the running festivities with 28 yards on two fake punts.
One more note on the rushing game. Cupito's rushing stats? Zero yards on zero rushes. Doesn't seem like it hurt the attack.
Besides the above mentioned lack of pass rush, the defense still looks very very good. They gave up over 400 yards of total offense, which isn't unheard of in college football, but through 3 1/2 quarters they only gave up seven points. Not surprisingly Toledo's quick hit passing offense produced the bulk of their yards, but the Gophers only gave up 94 yards on the ground, and for the 15th strait game the Gophers did not allow a 100 yard rusher.
As a team the Gophers are very obviously more mature. For the game they had only one penalty and no turnovers. Long time Gopher Football fans, please take a moment to revel in that phrase again: NO TURNOVERS!!!
Big 10 opponents still await us and there is still a lot of work to be done, but we'll take a 9 touchdown performance and a 42 point win over a good MAC opponent to start the season any day. True, Toledo is no Michigan, but by all accounts they should have been able to give the Gophers a decent run for their money. Either Toledo is nowhere near as good as everyone thought or the Gophers are far better than anyone imagined. Please join me in hoping for the latter.
With this in mind I would like to begin by talking about what I found to be particularly "half-empty" about my beloved Gophers performance on Saturday night. My biggest complaint all of last year was that the defensive pass rush was incredibly weak. Rushing only 3 guys most of the time and almost never blitzing is not the way to win in the Big 10. I think the Gophers proved that last year. Saturday night against Toledo this still seemed to be the case. I don't recall seeing even one hard blitz, and once again, usually only 3 men going after the quarterback. And even when they did blitz it was with a late linebacker that didn't seem to make much of an extra push. They did seem to be doing a little bit more stunt rushing than last year, but that was the only change I could see. The entire second half my uncle and I were constantly yelling "where's the pass rush?" That's my complaint.
But guess what? That's it!!!
My favorite sports columnist Sid Hartman (cough!!!) is already calling the Gophers underrated. I won't go that far, but I will say that the Gophs already looked like a well-oiled machine on Saturday night.
My biggest concern going into this season was probably everybody's biggest concern: quarterback. Brian Cupito still has not taken a snap in a big time college football game, but what he did on Saturday night should put everyone's fears at least to the side for the time being. I know it did mine.
First his stat-line. 10 completions on 12 attempts, 279 yards in the air and one touchdown. Gopher receivers were wide open all night and time after time Cupito found them and hit them in stride. He showed an unbelievable poise in the pocket, an incredible accuracy on his throws and an ability to throw on the run. It was clear from the first series that I saw him play that not only was it his turn to be under center, but he was ready to be there, he was comfortable being there, and he was going to make the most of the opportunity.
My knock on Abdul Khaliq was always that he was a great athlete, but he just was not a good decision maker. I'm not here to bash Khaliq, he led us to some incredible wins. But he continually had trouble recognizing open receivers, when he did find them he had trouble hitting them with catchable passes, and he often opted to run over throwing to an open receiver. He was a great runner, but that was the greatest dimension he brought to the offense: his threat to run. Cupito does not have the athletic ability, the cannon of an arm, the threat to run or the size of Khaliq, but what he brings to the offense is going to bring a dimension to this team that should be very fun to watch.
The rest of the offense followed their new leader without missing a beat. 415 yards on the ground, 289 yards through the air. Do the math! That's right: 704 yards of total offense (second most in school history).
The offensive line was UN-BE-LIEVABLE. Cupito had all the time to throw in the world all night long. Jared Ellerson continued as the featured receiver with over 100 yards receiving on only 4 catches.
The run blocking was obviously adequate, although I thought they could have opened up some bigger holes. The Barber/Maroney Show along with their new sidekick Amir Pinnix produced 5 touchdowns on the ground. A note on Barber. He is probably my favorite part about watching this team. With his speed and quickness you would think that he would run around people. But instead, when he is confronted by a potential tackler, he lowers his shoulder and tries to go through them. He runs like he actually WANTS to hit people. Punter Rhys Lloyd even joined in the running festivities with 28 yards on two fake punts.
One more note on the rushing game. Cupito's rushing stats? Zero yards on zero rushes. Doesn't seem like it hurt the attack.
Besides the above mentioned lack of pass rush, the defense still looks very very good. They gave up over 400 yards of total offense, which isn't unheard of in college football, but through 3 1/2 quarters they only gave up seven points. Not surprisingly Toledo's quick hit passing offense produced the bulk of their yards, but the Gophers only gave up 94 yards on the ground, and for the 15th strait game the Gophers did not allow a 100 yard rusher.
As a team the Gophers are very obviously more mature. For the game they had only one penalty and no turnovers. Long time Gopher Football fans, please take a moment to revel in that phrase again: NO TURNOVERS!!!
Big 10 opponents still await us and there is still a lot of work to be done, but we'll take a 9 touchdown performance and a 42 point win over a good MAC opponent to start the season any day. True, Toledo is no Michigan, but by all accounts they should have been able to give the Gophers a decent run for their money. Either Toledo is nowhere near as good as everyone thought or the Gophers are far better than anyone imagined. Please join me in hoping for the latter.
Monday, August 30, 2004
Jeff-I'm Back, BABY!!!
I have no such stories of visiting scantily-clad cheerleaders, or meeting "The Sheriff" on the high-road. Nope, no such fun for me. Instead I got to drive 7 hours roundtrip to Dickinson to watch Valley City get it's a$$ (can we say ass on the internet?) handed to them. Saturday and Sunday were spent watching the newly purchased NBATV of NBA games from the '80's when players could actually hit a jump shot. Both teams routinely scored 120 points in a regulation game--and I don't mean combined points!! Kind of ironic that, really, the '80's were the golden age of basketball, with probably the best collection of talent ever assembled in the league. And yet ratings didn't really pick up until the end of the decade. Now? Ratings are better than ever and yet the basketball has never been worse.
I'm not going to lament about the US Olympic team because I've done that already. THe only thing I will say on the topic is that to the Jer, the reason I personally was rooting against the US was because I feel like it's the only way David Stern and the suits in the NBA offices will realize that people would rather see the best TEAM and not the best collection of PLAYERS. What bothers me is Stern and others knew exactly what they were doing by putting the 12 best available names on this team, rather than 12 guys who would make a good international team. They were more interested in selling jerseys than winning a gold medal. Well congratulations, David Stern--mission accomplished.
I did love the column on ESPN.com tho, saying how we're all racist for cheering against them. Good to know. Glad to know what I am. Thanks for informing me. The nerve of some people.
At this point not much else to add, other than, as Jer stated earlier, yes, I do have my own show now, yes, it is a lot of fun, and yes, it's a lot of work. Unfortunealty I don't have as much time as I used to, but I will try to help Jer carry the burden of the website. So if you're driving through Valley City between 5:30-700pm Tuesday, Wednesday, or Thursday, tune in!! Otherwise, well yeah don't worry about it.
I'm not going to lament about the US Olympic team because I've done that already. THe only thing I will say on the topic is that to the Jer, the reason I personally was rooting against the US was because I feel like it's the only way David Stern and the suits in the NBA offices will realize that people would rather see the best TEAM and not the best collection of PLAYERS. What bothers me is Stern and others knew exactly what they were doing by putting the 12 best available names on this team, rather than 12 guys who would make a good international team. They were more interested in selling jerseys than winning a gold medal. Well congratulations, David Stern--mission accomplished.
I did love the column on ESPN.com tho, saying how we're all racist for cheering against them. Good to know. Glad to know what I am. Thanks for informing me. The nerve of some people.
At this point not much else to add, other than, as Jer stated earlier, yes, I do have my own show now, yes, it is a lot of fun, and yes, it's a lot of work. Unfortunealty I don't have as much time as I used to, but I will try to help Jer carry the burden of the website. So if you're driving through Valley City between 5:30-700pm Tuesday, Wednesday, or Thursday, tune in!! Otherwise, well yeah don't worry about it.
Saturday, August 28, 2004
Jeremy: Cheering for... chicken?
In case the readers (and I have no doubt there is a veritable throng of you out there) weren't aware of it, our young Jeffrey has his very own radio show in the thriving metropolis known as Valley City, ND. Yes, that's right, he is officially famous. He has officially left me behind. I have faith that he will still grace us with his presence on this very website (hold you applause please), but it appears that you will be subjected to my demented takes a little more often (no booing please). Yes, it appears that I will have to carry Midwest Sports Rubes while Jeff gets used to his more busy schedule "on air."
It happened a fortnight ago. An evening that I will not soon forget. That's correct, just two weeks ago I was given the "work" (and I use the term loosely in this situation) task of delivering food to the Metrodome before a Vikings pre-season football game against the Arizona Cardinals. Doesn't sound too exciting does it? Perhaps it gains a bit of luster when I further explain to you that my charge was to deliver pre-game food to the Vikings Cheerleaders?
I had The Dan put on a shirt donning the logo of my company and I forced him to join me in the endeavor. Driving to the Metrodome 2 1/2 hours before the game we were giddy with anticipation. It was a forgone conclusion that the ladies would be overjoyed to see us, but just how would they show their admiration for us? Our imaginations ran wild. We just could not get our simple male brains around it.
Trying to explain who we were, what was in the aluminum pans (grilled chicken and salad) and where we were going to the security folks was a task in itself. But we were undeterred. We forged ahead, through the under-belly of the Metrodome. Past dome staff, security, vendors, ball boys, etc. We finally made our way to the lower level and were directed down the hall to the baseball visitors locker room, where the cheerleaders make their home before each Vikings home game.
One of the cheerleaders coaches (Cheer coach? Coach of cheer? Leader of cheerleaders?) was outside. I explained, in a calm, unhurried manner, who we were. She walked into the locker room, turned a corner and yelled words that I will never forget. "MEN COMING IN, GIRLS! EVERYBODY DECENT?" This was followed by the screeching "NO!!!" of several women. A couple of minutes later we were escorted into the locker room where around 40 women in purple felt mini-skirts and tops with tall white leather boots were standing like they had been anticipating our arrival. Our task at this point was simple: put the chicken and salad out on the table, don't sweat, keep our eyes to the ground, and try not to look... um... aroused. For what seemed like an eternity, but was literally no more than 4 minutes, we were surrounded by beautiful scantily clad women. Normally a man would have to pay premium dollars to be in such a situation. The Dan claims that one of them touched his arm, I got a pat on the back. All of the women said thank you as we left their locker room. Were they thanking us for the food or for leaving? We may never know. Their thanks was not the reward that we sought, however. Just being in the presence of such beauty, such talent, such incredible amounts of purple felt, that, my friends, that was thanks enough.
As we walked out of the locker room and back through the seedy bowels of the Metrodome, we felt slightly saddened, but nonetheless confident. As we walked past the Cardinals locker room, a plump, arrogant man stood with one foot on the ground, one on a chair, leaning with his elbow on his knee. This was the unmistakable stance of former Vikings head coach Dennis Green. Little did Denny know just seconds prior I had just been in the presence of greatness and his stature as an NFL head coach meant little to me at the time. Unfazed, I walked right up to him, offered my hand, and gave a confident, "How ya doin'?" He was surprised, but he shook my hand, and offered a "Fine, thanks. And you?" I simply replied "great," but I was already on my way.
I will admit, I lead somewhat of a charmed life. A couple of my friends have referred to me as Forrest Gump. They say I'm everywhere. I just say I'm lucky. I believe, for a brief few moments on an August Saturday afternoon, some purple felt-clad ladies felt lucky as well. Unfortunately, that's all they felt.
It happened a fortnight ago. An evening that I will not soon forget. That's correct, just two weeks ago I was given the "work" (and I use the term loosely in this situation) task of delivering food to the Metrodome before a Vikings pre-season football game against the Arizona Cardinals. Doesn't sound too exciting does it? Perhaps it gains a bit of luster when I further explain to you that my charge was to deliver pre-game food to the Vikings Cheerleaders?
I had The Dan put on a shirt donning the logo of my company and I forced him to join me in the endeavor. Driving to the Metrodome 2 1/2 hours before the game we were giddy with anticipation. It was a forgone conclusion that the ladies would be overjoyed to see us, but just how would they show their admiration for us? Our imaginations ran wild. We just could not get our simple male brains around it.
Trying to explain who we were, what was in the aluminum pans (grilled chicken and salad) and where we were going to the security folks was a task in itself. But we were undeterred. We forged ahead, through the under-belly of the Metrodome. Past dome staff, security, vendors, ball boys, etc. We finally made our way to the lower level and were directed down the hall to the baseball visitors locker room, where the cheerleaders make their home before each Vikings home game.
One of the cheerleaders coaches (Cheer coach? Coach of cheer? Leader of cheerleaders?) was outside. I explained, in a calm, unhurried manner, who we were. She walked into the locker room, turned a corner and yelled words that I will never forget. "MEN COMING IN, GIRLS! EVERYBODY DECENT?" This was followed by the screeching "NO!!!" of several women. A couple of minutes later we were escorted into the locker room where around 40 women in purple felt mini-skirts and tops with tall white leather boots were standing like they had been anticipating our arrival. Our task at this point was simple: put the chicken and salad out on the table, don't sweat, keep our eyes to the ground, and try not to look... um... aroused. For what seemed like an eternity, but was literally no more than 4 minutes, we were surrounded by beautiful scantily clad women. Normally a man would have to pay premium dollars to be in such a situation. The Dan claims that one of them touched his arm, I got a pat on the back. All of the women said thank you as we left their locker room. Were they thanking us for the food or for leaving? We may never know. Their thanks was not the reward that we sought, however. Just being in the presence of such beauty, such talent, such incredible amounts of purple felt, that, my friends, that was thanks enough.
As we walked out of the locker room and back through the seedy bowels of the Metrodome, we felt slightly saddened, but nonetheless confident. As we walked past the Cardinals locker room, a plump, arrogant man stood with one foot on the ground, one on a chair, leaning with his elbow on his knee. This was the unmistakable stance of former Vikings head coach Dennis Green. Little did Denny know just seconds prior I had just been in the presence of greatness and his stature as an NFL head coach meant little to me at the time. Unfazed, I walked right up to him, offered my hand, and gave a confident, "How ya doin'?" He was surprised, but he shook my hand, and offered a "Fine, thanks. And you?" I simply replied "great," but I was already on my way.
I will admit, I lead somewhat of a charmed life. A couple of my friends have referred to me as Forrest Gump. They say I'm everywhere. I just say I'm lucky. I believe, for a brief few moments on an August Saturday afternoon, some purple felt-clad ladies felt lucky as well. Unfortunately, that's all they felt.
Monday, August 23, 2004
Jeremy: My Big Olympic Basketball Picture
I suppose I'm a product of the American sports attitude. Several weeks ago Jeff asked me if I was starting to get excited for the upcoming Olympics. My response? "There's Olympics going on this summer?"
It's true, I just don't get excited for the Olympics. In the entire games, summer & winter, there's only a few events that I enjoy watching. Basketball, volleyball, snowboarding, skiing, hockey, track & field. All the other ones I mostly get bored with. Out of the ones I like, I would say that basketball is the closest to my heart, and maybe that's why I wasn't excited for the games this summer... the athletes weren't either. Several members of the USA basketball team have admitted that winning an NBA Championship was more important to them than winning a gold medal. In a game that has turned into a competition for how much recognition, money and attention you can get, I'm not sure I can blame them. Besides that the deck was stacked against them from the beginning.
But I'm done talking about how this team was poorly assembled. I'm tired of hearing about how players like KG, Kidd & Shaq shouldn't have said no to playing. And I beg of you, please nobody else tell me that the NBA is full of terrible shooters. I agree with most of it. The team should have several players that aren't there. Some of those guys should have said yes. I couldn't agree more, the NBA game is watered down, the talent is getting worse, the shooting is horrible, and the team-play is non-existent.
But here's the bottom line: these are still our guys. This is still Team USA. We still have the most talented players in the world. (Note: I didn't say most talented "team," I said most talented "players." There IS a difference.)
True, no other US Olympic men's basketball team has lost an Olympic game, this team has lost two. But the team that lost to Puerto Rico was absolutely embarrassing. The team that lost to Lithuania is dangerously close to being good. Their outside shooting is not getting better, but they are finally coming together as a team. Rebounding has been a strength the entire games, they are playing with enthusiasm, they are starting to play great swarming man-on-man defense, they are moving the ball around almost too well. There were a few times against Lithuania where you almost felt as if they made one too many passes. They still have work to do, but they have gotten better every game they've played, and we know how important having momentum at the right time is in sports.
I'm still skeptical that they can win the gold. If Lithuania can keep shooting the lights out like they have been it's theirs to lose. But Team USA is the only team that is talented enough to beat them even when Lithuania is shooting well.
These are our guys. It's time to stop complaining about how poor the team was put together. It's not their fault. They are starting to get behind each other. It's time we start getting behind them.
It's true, I just don't get excited for the Olympics. In the entire games, summer & winter, there's only a few events that I enjoy watching. Basketball, volleyball, snowboarding, skiing, hockey, track & field. All the other ones I mostly get bored with. Out of the ones I like, I would say that basketball is the closest to my heart, and maybe that's why I wasn't excited for the games this summer... the athletes weren't either. Several members of the USA basketball team have admitted that winning an NBA Championship was more important to them than winning a gold medal. In a game that has turned into a competition for how much recognition, money and attention you can get, I'm not sure I can blame them. Besides that the deck was stacked against them from the beginning.
But I'm done talking about how this team was poorly assembled. I'm tired of hearing about how players like KG, Kidd & Shaq shouldn't have said no to playing. And I beg of you, please nobody else tell me that the NBA is full of terrible shooters. I agree with most of it. The team should have several players that aren't there. Some of those guys should have said yes. I couldn't agree more, the NBA game is watered down, the talent is getting worse, the shooting is horrible, and the team-play is non-existent.
But here's the bottom line: these are still our guys. This is still Team USA. We still have the most talented players in the world. (Note: I didn't say most talented "team," I said most talented "players." There IS a difference.)
True, no other US Olympic men's basketball team has lost an Olympic game, this team has lost two. But the team that lost to Puerto Rico was absolutely embarrassing. The team that lost to Lithuania is dangerously close to being good. Their outside shooting is not getting better, but they are finally coming together as a team. Rebounding has been a strength the entire games, they are playing with enthusiasm, they are starting to play great swarming man-on-man defense, they are moving the ball around almost too well. There were a few times against Lithuania where you almost felt as if they made one too many passes. They still have work to do, but they have gotten better every game they've played, and we know how important having momentum at the right time is in sports.
I'm still skeptical that they can win the gold. If Lithuania can keep shooting the lights out like they have been it's theirs to lose. But Team USA is the only team that is talented enough to beat them even when Lithuania is shooting well.
These are our guys. It's time to stop complaining about how poor the team was put together. It's not their fault. They are starting to get behind each other. It's time we start getting behind them.
Wednesday, August 04, 2004
Jeff: Piling On...
I'm not here to call out Lebron and Melo and Coach Larry Brown. I'm not here to call out Shaq and KG and Kidd and all the others who skipped the Olympics. I'm calling out David Stern.
The "experts" had been saying ever since the US Olympic team was finalized that it was poorly constructed, and that despite the "big names" this team wouldn't be successful in the Olympics. Well after the Italy game everyone else SHOULD see that--everyone else, that is, except the man that counts: NBA Commissioner David Stern. Did you see Stern's comments a couple of days ago? He's excited about this young team and says this is the way the team will be put together from now on--with younger players. HUH?!?!?!? (Allow me to clear my throat so I can get my point across here...) the ENTIRE point of putting NBA players in the Olympics is so the USA would clean up. Period. Allow me to explain how we've gotten to this point, and why those comments from Stern means he doesn't care one bit about whether the US wins or loses. All he cares about is the bottom line and how much money he can rake in.
Let's go back to the 80's. Hair bands. Bad clothes. And probably the best era in NBA history. Problem was, the best players weren't playing in the Olympics. People were losing interest in Olympic basketball when the college kids started getting worked. Real American basketball fans were tired of seeing the team lose, knowing that with the best players in the world--aka NBA players--the losing would stop. Stern also knew that with NBA players involved, he and his cronies would be in line for some big-time $$ from TV dollars and jersey sales. Match made in heaven. Stern used his strong-armed tactics to get the pros in.
And 1992 went off better than anyone could have expected. I mentioned that in my last post too: out and out dominance from the best basketball squad ever assembled. Of course all of that dominance also set a standard; an impossibly high standard. A few problems with this: at the same time the Dream Team was demolishing opponents, the Berlin Wall had been demolished too, and suddenly all of these Eastern Block countries were being exposed to a whole new world. True, the rest of the world was being exposed to American basketball that year, but I think what REALLY happened was the rest of the world was being let out. The rest of the world always HAD talent--it just hadn't been exposed. Now with a "freer" world, the door was suddenly wide open. Again, yes, the rest of the world got closer to "American Basketball" in '92 thanks to the Dream Team, but to say it's been the influence and reason for all the success of these other countries is ignorant at best. Just look at that Italy game and the World Championships 2 years ago--these teams aren't playing the American style of basketball!!! They're playing a different game--AND THEY"RE WINNING!!!!!!
Maybe it's American basketball that should start taking some pointers from the rest of the world. I'm dead serious when I say this--the worst thing Michael Jordan did was dunk a basketball. Because now that's all any of the kids care about doing. Don't believe me? When basketball season starts up again, stick around for the commercials. Watch the basketball related commericals, and see how many jump shots you see. How many passes you see. Block outs. Screen and rolls. I can tell you already you'll be waiting a LONG time to see any of that in an American basketball commercial. All you'll see is dunking and one-on-one moves trying to dunk. "Streetball" is killing the game of basketball but nobody wants to talk about it. Gone is the idea of the team concept, passing, playing defense, and hitting an F'ing jump shot. "Schooling" your opponent is all they care about now.
Don't believe me? Look at the US team, heck look at the all-stars who didn't show up. How many NBA "SuperStar" guards can you name who are great shooters? How many? Kobe when he's REALLY on can knock down outside shots. T-Mac? Nope. Kidd? That's funny. Francis? Baron Davis? Not a ONE!!! Most of the best shooters in the league now aren't Americans. And the ones that ARE Americans, like Michael Redd, aren't going to sell enough jerseys to get on the team.
The blame for this has to fall on Stern. How else does Marbury make the team? How else are the 12 "best available names" making up this squad, and not the 12 best guys they could get that would have made the best TEAM? This team was put together with $$ in mind, not winning. Don't blame Larry Brown. It's not his fault he has a team that's not geared to win. No team, college or pro, that's built like this one has much of a chance to win. 3 point guards (none of which who can make an outside jumpshot), ZERO TWO GUARDS, 4 or 5 small forwards (again none who are consistent from the perimeter), and an utter lack of size in the post outside of The Big Fundamentals Timmy Duncan. This is not a recipe for success--but it is for David Stern's bank account, and that's all he cares about.
And getting back to Stern's comments about "this is the future of USA Olympic Basketball, the young guys"; well it just cements the fact the man does not care about winning. Granted, you can't put a gun to the head of NBA Superstars to make them play in the Olympics. Honestly, I think if these Olympic games were played in the good ol' US of A, most of the guys that backed out for "security reasons" would have found some other excuse not to play. It's sad but that's where were at. But you can still find a superstar or two (like Duncan and Iverson) who would be willing to play. And then if you simply follow the blueprint for building a good basketball team, whether it be the NBA or some Eurpean league. The US should STILL be the best team in the world. Get a couple of stars, a point guard that actually plays like a point guard (which would mean keeping Dwayne Wade on the floor and telling Stephon Marbury the Olympics are in Egypt or Siberia), extending invitations to guys who can hit an outside shot (they're called shooting guards, and have that name for a reason--or at least they used to), a small forward who can shoot, and some solid rebounders in the post. ROLE PLAYERS. Such an easy recipe and yet Stern refuses to see the writing on the wall.
And that's what makes Stern such a hypocrit. He pushed for NBA players so the fans could see the best of the best: now that the best don't want to come anymore, he's going to put "exciting young players" that will still sell merchandise, instead of trying get a couple of stars and round it out with role players so the team had a shot at winning. What's the next step? When they couldn't win, the USA got the pros. Now that the pros aren't winning, maybe they'll want to go back to the college kids? Oh wait, except our best high school kids don't want to play college ball anymore. Or shoot. Or pass. Or play defense. But boy they sure do make some great dunks. Welcome to the New World Order of American Basketball.
The "experts" had been saying ever since the US Olympic team was finalized that it was poorly constructed, and that despite the "big names" this team wouldn't be successful in the Olympics. Well after the Italy game everyone else SHOULD see that--everyone else, that is, except the man that counts: NBA Commissioner David Stern. Did you see Stern's comments a couple of days ago? He's excited about this young team and says this is the way the team will be put together from now on--with younger players. HUH?!?!?!? (Allow me to clear my throat so I can get my point across here...) the ENTIRE point of putting NBA players in the Olympics is so the USA would clean up. Period. Allow me to explain how we've gotten to this point, and why those comments from Stern means he doesn't care one bit about whether the US wins or loses. All he cares about is the bottom line and how much money he can rake in.
Let's go back to the 80's. Hair bands. Bad clothes. And probably the best era in NBA history. Problem was, the best players weren't playing in the Olympics. People were losing interest in Olympic basketball when the college kids started getting worked. Real American basketball fans were tired of seeing the team lose, knowing that with the best players in the world--aka NBA players--the losing would stop. Stern also knew that with NBA players involved, he and his cronies would be in line for some big-time $$ from TV dollars and jersey sales. Match made in heaven. Stern used his strong-armed tactics to get the pros in.
And 1992 went off better than anyone could have expected. I mentioned that in my last post too: out and out dominance from the best basketball squad ever assembled. Of course all of that dominance also set a standard; an impossibly high standard. A few problems with this: at the same time the Dream Team was demolishing opponents, the Berlin Wall had been demolished too, and suddenly all of these Eastern Block countries were being exposed to a whole new world. True, the rest of the world was being exposed to American basketball that year, but I think what REALLY happened was the rest of the world was being let out. The rest of the world always HAD talent--it just hadn't been exposed. Now with a "freer" world, the door was suddenly wide open. Again, yes, the rest of the world got closer to "American Basketball" in '92 thanks to the Dream Team, but to say it's been the influence and reason for all the success of these other countries is ignorant at best. Just look at that Italy game and the World Championships 2 years ago--these teams aren't playing the American style of basketball!!! They're playing a different game--AND THEY"RE WINNING!!!!!!
Maybe it's American basketball that should start taking some pointers from the rest of the world. I'm dead serious when I say this--the worst thing Michael Jordan did was dunk a basketball. Because now that's all any of the kids care about doing. Don't believe me? When basketball season starts up again, stick around for the commercials. Watch the basketball related commericals, and see how many jump shots you see. How many passes you see. Block outs. Screen and rolls. I can tell you already you'll be waiting a LONG time to see any of that in an American basketball commercial. All you'll see is dunking and one-on-one moves trying to dunk. "Streetball" is killing the game of basketball but nobody wants to talk about it. Gone is the idea of the team concept, passing, playing defense, and hitting an F'ing jump shot. "Schooling" your opponent is all they care about now.
Don't believe me? Look at the US team, heck look at the all-stars who didn't show up. How many NBA "SuperStar" guards can you name who are great shooters? How many? Kobe when he's REALLY on can knock down outside shots. T-Mac? Nope. Kidd? That's funny. Francis? Baron Davis? Not a ONE!!! Most of the best shooters in the league now aren't Americans. And the ones that ARE Americans, like Michael Redd, aren't going to sell enough jerseys to get on the team.
The blame for this has to fall on Stern. How else does Marbury make the team? How else are the 12 "best available names" making up this squad, and not the 12 best guys they could get that would have made the best TEAM? This team was put together with $$ in mind, not winning. Don't blame Larry Brown. It's not his fault he has a team that's not geared to win. No team, college or pro, that's built like this one has much of a chance to win. 3 point guards (none of which who can make an outside jumpshot), ZERO TWO GUARDS, 4 or 5 small forwards (again none who are consistent from the perimeter), and an utter lack of size in the post outside of The Big Fundamentals Timmy Duncan. This is not a recipe for success--but it is for David Stern's bank account, and that's all he cares about.
And getting back to Stern's comments about "this is the future of USA Olympic Basketball, the young guys"; well it just cements the fact the man does not care about winning. Granted, you can't put a gun to the head of NBA Superstars to make them play in the Olympics. Honestly, I think if these Olympic games were played in the good ol' US of A, most of the guys that backed out for "security reasons" would have found some other excuse not to play. It's sad but that's where were at. But you can still find a superstar or two (like Duncan and Iverson) who would be willing to play. And then if you simply follow the blueprint for building a good basketball team, whether it be the NBA or some Eurpean league. The US should STILL be the best team in the world. Get a couple of stars, a point guard that actually plays like a point guard (which would mean keeping Dwayne Wade on the floor and telling Stephon Marbury the Olympics are in Egypt or Siberia), extending invitations to guys who can hit an outside shot (they're called shooting guards, and have that name for a reason--or at least they used to), a small forward who can shoot, and some solid rebounders in the post. ROLE PLAYERS. Such an easy recipe and yet Stern refuses to see the writing on the wall.
And that's what makes Stern such a hypocrit. He pushed for NBA players so the fans could see the best of the best: now that the best don't want to come anymore, he's going to put "exciting young players" that will still sell merchandise, instead of trying get a couple of stars and round it out with role players so the team had a shot at winning. What's the next step? When they couldn't win, the USA got the pros. Now that the pros aren't winning, maybe they'll want to go back to the college kids? Oh wait, except our best high school kids don't want to play college ball anymore. Or shoot. Or pass. Or play defense. But boy they sure do make some great dunks. Welcome to the New World Order of American Basketball.
Tuesday, August 03, 2004
Jeremy: Has anyone seen my Spabble?
As it turns out, spabbling is just too much fun and it's just too perfect right now. Especially for me in the summer. I mean, there is a lot going on in sports right now, but none of it really trips my trigger to the point where I want to talk about it at length. Baseball still bores me, football isn't quite intriguing enough yet, I could care less about a hockey lock-out, and the Olympics are about to swing into action, but they don't exactly keep me up at night either. So, until football season starts I'm probably going to be doing a lot of spabbling.
*How about that Mike Tyson? He and Ricky Williams should form a club called "Potsmokers Denial Annonymous." It baffles me that people actually say things like: "I may have smoked too much weed, but I wasn't doing drugs or anything." Tyson actually said this. FANTASTIC!!! When people who admit to smoking a lot of pot say things like this do we really need to keep doing studies to see if marijuana has effects on the brain?
*Speaking of Ricky, he is officially retired now. What was your favorite Ricky Williams memory from his short career? Was it the first time he got busted for smoking geef? Was it when Ditka wore a dreadlock wig to Ricky's first press conference? Was it when Ricky was going to "save" the Dolphins? Maybe it was the time people were questioning his sexual orientation. Or maybe it was when he cut all his hair off? Oh wait, I know. I bet it was the second time he got busted smoking refer. Was that it? Truthfully, bI can't remember what my favorite was. Anybody have a Ho-Ho?
*So Nomar finally got his ticket out of Boston and all it cost him was his good name. It's funny to me how a player can be so loved by a city, and then completely turn his back on that city. In Nomah's defense, though, Boston turned its collective back on him too, making it easier for him to check out. On the bright side of things, Nomar still gets to go home to Mia Hamm. Mmmmm, Hamm!!
*As far as musical minstuments go, I contend that the banjo is vastly under-rated.
*Dougie Baseball is no longer a Minnesota Twin. I think the Twinkies are better off without him, but I'm still a bit sad to see him go. Doug used to be the heart and soul of this team, it's rallying cry, it's conscience. But during the early part of this season he was nothing more than a great glove at first who was steadily getting worse with the bat. I like Dougie. I like his high socks, his dirty batting helmet, his defense and his fearlessness to tell it like it is. But as a player, Morneau has to be the future. You like to see a bit of offensive power from your first baseman. Justin has it, Dougie was losing it.
*So, the current version of the Dream Team is turning into the current version of a U.S. Olympic nightmare. While the rest of the world's players focus on getting better at basketball, U.S. players only focus on money and recognition. Talent alone isn't going to win the gold. It takes dedication and teamwork. It is becoming painfully obvious that the world, while maybe not passing us by in the basketball arena, is very quickly gaining on us. We absolutely have better talent than any other national team in the world, unfortunately we just don't have a better team.
*Is anyone else in a better mood now that NFL Training Camps have started and football is officially back in our midst?
*How about that Mike Tyson? He and Ricky Williams should form a club called "Potsmokers Denial Annonymous." It baffles me that people actually say things like: "I may have smoked too much weed, but I wasn't doing drugs or anything." Tyson actually said this. FANTASTIC!!! When people who admit to smoking a lot of pot say things like this do we really need to keep doing studies to see if marijuana has effects on the brain?
*Speaking of Ricky, he is officially retired now. What was your favorite Ricky Williams memory from his short career? Was it the first time he got busted for smoking geef? Was it when Ditka wore a dreadlock wig to Ricky's first press conference? Was it when Ricky was going to "save" the Dolphins? Maybe it was the time people were questioning his sexual orientation. Or maybe it was when he cut all his hair off? Oh wait, I know. I bet it was the second time he got busted smoking refer. Was that it? Truthfully, bI can't remember what my favorite was. Anybody have a Ho-Ho?
*So Nomar finally got his ticket out of Boston and all it cost him was his good name. It's funny to me how a player can be so loved by a city, and then completely turn his back on that city. In Nomah's defense, though, Boston turned its collective back on him too, making it easier for him to check out. On the bright side of things, Nomar still gets to go home to Mia Hamm. Mmmmm, Hamm!!
*As far as musical minstuments go, I contend that the banjo is vastly under-rated.
*Dougie Baseball is no longer a Minnesota Twin. I think the Twinkies are better off without him, but I'm still a bit sad to see him go. Doug used to be the heart and soul of this team, it's rallying cry, it's conscience. But during the early part of this season he was nothing more than a great glove at first who was steadily getting worse with the bat. I like Dougie. I like his high socks, his dirty batting helmet, his defense and his fearlessness to tell it like it is. But as a player, Morneau has to be the future. You like to see a bit of offensive power from your first baseman. Justin has it, Dougie was losing it.
*So, the current version of the Dream Team is turning into the current version of a U.S. Olympic nightmare. While the rest of the world's players focus on getting better at basketball, U.S. players only focus on money and recognition. Talent alone isn't going to win the gold. It takes dedication and teamwork. It is becoming painfully obvious that the world, while maybe not passing us by in the basketball arena, is very quickly gaining on us. We absolutely have better talent than any other national team in the world, unfortunately we just don't have a better team.
*Is anyone else in a better mood now that NFL Training Camps have started and football is officially back in our midst?
Saturday, July 31, 2004
Jeff: A Whole New Ballgame...
Yes, the times they are a-changin in the basketball world. It was just 12 years ago when The Dream Team awed us on the biggest of stages in Barcelona. Players from all over the world seemed honored just to be on the same court with some of the legends of the game, from Michael, to Larry to Magic. And of course Christian Laettner (I'm STILL wondering how Laettner made that team instead of Shaq!!! Who cares if they already had Ewing and David Robinson?!??!). The US marched to glory and a gold medal, routing opponents with an AVERAGE margin of victory of 44 points. (Read that again. Let it sink in. 44 bloody points. Still amazing).
There was only one Dream Team, despite the fact the media continuted to call USA's international teams "Dream Teams" for years after. Reality has sunk in this year. All but 3 of the original 9 guys that were slated to play this summer have stayed on. And that's not to mention a host of other invitees that turned down the chance to play for their country. No Shaq, no Kobe (just imagine all the 19 year old girls he could have met in Greece--sorry), no KG or McGrady or Jason Kidd or even old guys who got invited and had no business being there like Karl Malone. All decided to stay home. The remaining group are eager, intense, and hungry to prove USA basketball is still the best. Yet they're also young, inexperienced (the current roster collectively has a grand total of ZERO games played in Olympic competition), undersized and lacking any real outside shooting threat. There's a world of potential on display, but against the old vets of such teams as Argentina and Lithuania, will it be enough for even a bronze?
A Dream Team? Hardly, but I'm still excited to see the league's three best young talents, the future pillars of the league, on display. Lebron, Melo and Dwayne Wade (who desparately needs a nickname. "Dwayne" sounds like that uncle nobody wants to talk about, and Wade sounds like a duck). All 3 made a splash last year in the pool of NBA legend, and those ripples appear to be just the beginning. What better stage for these 3 than the Olympics? If Coach Brown gives them enough time together, people will be talking about their coming-out party and Commissioner Stern will be wringing his hands with glee.
Yes, they're not the Dream Team, but the future is still very bright for USA Basketball, even if that means the US comes home with something other than gold this summer.
There was only one Dream Team, despite the fact the media continuted to call USA's international teams "Dream Teams" for years after. Reality has sunk in this year. All but 3 of the original 9 guys that were slated to play this summer have stayed on. And that's not to mention a host of other invitees that turned down the chance to play for their country. No Shaq, no Kobe (just imagine all the 19 year old girls he could have met in Greece--sorry), no KG or McGrady or Jason Kidd or even old guys who got invited and had no business being there like Karl Malone. All decided to stay home. The remaining group are eager, intense, and hungry to prove USA basketball is still the best. Yet they're also young, inexperienced (the current roster collectively has a grand total of ZERO games played in Olympic competition), undersized and lacking any real outside shooting threat. There's a world of potential on display, but against the old vets of such teams as Argentina and Lithuania, will it be enough for even a bronze?
A Dream Team? Hardly, but I'm still excited to see the league's three best young talents, the future pillars of the league, on display. Lebron, Melo and Dwayne Wade (who desparately needs a nickname. "Dwayne" sounds like that uncle nobody wants to talk about, and Wade sounds like a duck). All 3 made a splash last year in the pool of NBA legend, and those ripples appear to be just the beginning. What better stage for these 3 than the Olympics? If Coach Brown gives them enough time together, people will be talking about their coming-out party and Commissioner Stern will be wringing his hands with glee.
Yes, they're not the Dream Team, but the future is still very bright for USA Basketball, even if that means the US comes home with something other than gold this summer.
Jeremy: Spabbling
Sometimes I just don't have enough to say about one sports subject, therefore not enough to post a blog. Sometimes I have a little bit to say about a few different sports subjects. This is the advent of Spabbling... sports babbling. When I need to spabble, I will simply spabble on about a few sports subjects, thereby having enough to fill a blog.
Here goes...
*Ricky Williams. I've been going back and forth on his decision to retire. At first I was thinking that's his decision, and good for him for getting out before he became really miserable. Then I changed my tune, getting mad because he ditched his teammates way too late in the process. His comments have since made up my mind for me. Williams recently said: "I didn't quit football because I failed a drug test, I failed a drug test because I was ready to quit football." Good one Ricky. On that note, recently I didn't eat the Twinkie because I had just smoked some geef, I smoked some geef because I was ready to eat a Twinkie. Now people are trying to compare Ricky retiring early to Barry Sanders retiring early. I can't even talk about this.
*Vikings sign Brock Lesner. Let's get one thing strait here: Brock Lesner has "an NFL body." Does this mean he should be playing in the NFL? I'm not sure. The Wikes worked him out twice and were apparently impressed with him to the point that they had to sign him. Let me point out here that Lesner didn't get a second work-out with any other NFL team. I hope that Brock goes from being "The Next Big Thing" of the WWE to being the next big thing on the Vikings. I really really do hope that he succeeds. That reminds me, after a certain amount of success would Brock have gone from being "The Next Big Thing" to just being "The Big Thing"? And would anybody really want to be called that?
*At this point in his career I think that George Foreman has a better shot at a comeback in boxing than Mike Tyson. Note to Mike: you don't have many brain cells to spare, boxing isn't the way to pay off your creditors. If you need money, practice writing your name. Also, watch that back. SPINAL!!!
*Gophers ranked 23rd in pre-season coaches poll. I shouldn't even be talking about this. It's only a pre-season draft. But my Minnesota sports rubedom always has me optomistic about my Gophs, now the national guys are optimistic about them too? Okay, at least 3 teams in the Big Ten are better than them. But no team has a more favorable schedule. We don't have to play Ohio State and we get Iowa at home. I still think Mason is a little suspect as head coach of this team, but, and don't tell anyone this, I'm starting to believe him when he says this is a good team. Damn my infernal optimism!!! I did the same thing last year and I ended absolutely berating Coach Mason and the Gophers in countless emails to my friends and family. When will I learn?
Here goes...
*Ricky Williams. I've been going back and forth on his decision to retire. At first I was thinking that's his decision, and good for him for getting out before he became really miserable. Then I changed my tune, getting mad because he ditched his teammates way too late in the process. His comments have since made up my mind for me. Williams recently said: "I didn't quit football because I failed a drug test, I failed a drug test because I was ready to quit football." Good one Ricky. On that note, recently I didn't eat the Twinkie because I had just smoked some geef, I smoked some geef because I was ready to eat a Twinkie. Now people are trying to compare Ricky retiring early to Barry Sanders retiring early. I can't even talk about this.
*Vikings sign Brock Lesner. Let's get one thing strait here: Brock Lesner has "an NFL body." Does this mean he should be playing in the NFL? I'm not sure. The Wikes worked him out twice and were apparently impressed with him to the point that they had to sign him. Let me point out here that Lesner didn't get a second work-out with any other NFL team. I hope that Brock goes from being "The Next Big Thing" of the WWE to being the next big thing on the Vikings. I really really do hope that he succeeds. That reminds me, after a certain amount of success would Brock have gone from being "The Next Big Thing" to just being "The Big Thing"? And would anybody really want to be called that?
*At this point in his career I think that George Foreman has a better shot at a comeback in boxing than Mike Tyson. Note to Mike: you don't have many brain cells to spare, boxing isn't the way to pay off your creditors. If you need money, practice writing your name. Also, watch that back. SPINAL!!!
*Gophers ranked 23rd in pre-season coaches poll. I shouldn't even be talking about this. It's only a pre-season draft. But my Minnesota sports rubedom always has me optomistic about my Gophs, now the national guys are optimistic about them too? Okay, at least 3 teams in the Big Ten are better than them. But no team has a more favorable schedule. We don't have to play Ohio State and we get Iowa at home. I still think Mason is a little suspect as head coach of this team, but, and don't tell anyone this, I'm starting to believe him when he says this is a good team. Damn my infernal optimism!!! I did the same thing last year and I ended absolutely berating Coach Mason and the Gophers in countless emails to my friends and family. When will I learn?
Thursday, July 22, 2004
Jeremy: It Seemed Like A Good Idea At The Time
I'm willing to admit it. I'm willing to admit that streaking is a bad idea. It's mostly illegal. It can be embarrassing. It's probably punishable by flogging in several countries. But let's be honest here, if you are a heterosexual guy, there really isn't anything quite as exhilarating as seeing the faces of your friends when they get a glimpse of your bare white buttocks. Streaking is sort of like eating Mexican food: it always seems like a good idea right up until the point that you finish up. It's at that point you realize what you've just done, and no matter how much you enjoyed it, now that it's over, you will have to deal with the consequences. The difference between streaking and eating Mexican food? Streaking provides for a better story to tell. Having said that, I will keep the story to myself.
So say that you are the Lakers and because you are the Lakers, it's a party. Everything seems to be going along as normal when somebody yells "WE'RE GETTING RID OF SHAQ!!!!" ("WE'RE GOIN' STREAKING!!!"). Suddenly everyone is laughing, screaming, having a great time. I mean, we've had Shaq (clothes on) all this time, there's no need for him (these clothes) anymore, it's time to shake things up, lose Shaq (our clothes), and really get this team (party) going. Great idea!!! So everyone is running around, elated at the idea of not having Shaq (clothes on) anymore. There's laughter, rejoicing, people are cheering, clanking glasses, enjoying the suddenly Shaqless (clothesless) team (evening). I mean, really, what's the big deal. We don't have Shaq (clothes on) anymore, but we've still got Kobe(beer) left. All we have to do is give the team over to Kobe (drink more beer) and we'll continue to have a great team (night).
So the Lake Show (the party) continues without Shaq (clothes) but plenty of Kobe (beer). Everyone thinks that this is going to be a great arrangement for the team (party). But nobody really took the time to realize how important Shaq (clothes) really were to the success of the team (party). What nobody seemed to realize was that had Shaq (having clothes on) covered up a lot of problems on the team (a lot of ugly naked bodies). Nobody understood that with Shaq around (clothes on) everybody was (looked) better, but as soon as Shaq (the clothes) was gone, all the Lakers (party) had left was Kobe (beer), and nobody (everybody) looks better when Kobe (beer) is in charge.
Okay, so the analogy breaks down a little bit at the end. But you get the idea. The point is it seemed like a good idea to treat the Diesel like garbage and get rid of him, but it's going to bite the Lakers in the butt (naked or otherwise). Nevermind the fact that Shaq has now guaranteed a championship in Miami, the Lakers are just flat out a worse team than the were with Shaq. I know that I've said that given the circumstances the Lakers got the best deal that they could for Shaq, and I still stand by that, but that doesn't change the fact that they destroyed any shot they will have at a ring in the near future. No matter how much you think getting rid of your clothes (Shaq) will make the party (your team)better, you will without question regret it in the morning(next year).
So say that you are the Lakers and because you are the Lakers, it's a party. Everything seems to be going along as normal when somebody yells "WE'RE GETTING RID OF SHAQ!!!!" ("WE'RE GOIN' STREAKING!!!"). Suddenly everyone is laughing, screaming, having a great time. I mean, we've had Shaq (clothes on) all this time, there's no need for him (these clothes) anymore, it's time to shake things up, lose Shaq (our clothes), and really get this team (party) going. Great idea!!! So everyone is running around, elated at the idea of not having Shaq (clothes on) anymore. There's laughter, rejoicing, people are cheering, clanking glasses, enjoying the suddenly Shaqless (clothesless) team (evening). I mean, really, what's the big deal. We don't have Shaq (clothes on) anymore, but we've still got Kobe(beer) left. All we have to do is give the team over to Kobe (drink more beer) and we'll continue to have a great team (night).
So the Lake Show (the party) continues without Shaq (clothes) but plenty of Kobe (beer). Everyone thinks that this is going to be a great arrangement for the team (party). But nobody really took the time to realize how important Shaq (clothes) really were to the success of the team (party). What nobody seemed to realize was that had Shaq (having clothes on) covered up a lot of problems on the team (a lot of ugly naked bodies). Nobody understood that with Shaq around (clothes on) everybody was (looked) better, but as soon as Shaq (the clothes) was gone, all the Lakers (party) had left was Kobe (beer), and nobody (everybody) looks better when Kobe (beer) is in charge.
Okay, so the analogy breaks down a little bit at the end. But you get the idea. The point is it seemed like a good idea to treat the Diesel like garbage and get rid of him, but it's going to bite the Lakers in the butt (naked or otherwise). Nevermind the fact that Shaq has now guaranteed a championship in Miami, the Lakers are just flat out a worse team than the were with Shaq. I know that I've said that given the circumstances the Lakers got the best deal that they could for Shaq, and I still stand by that, but that doesn't change the fact that they destroyed any shot they will have at a ring in the near future. No matter how much you think getting rid of your clothes (Shaq) will make the party (your team)better, you will without question regret it in the morning(next year).
Monday, July 19, 2004
Jeff: My cheap shot of the week...
After Carlos Boozer stabbed the Cleveland Cavaliers in the back by signing with Utah, he left the team with a gaping hole at the 4 spot. Apparently the Cavaliers are now interested in signing troubled free-agent forward Vin Baker, who of course had his last contract with the Knicks terminated because he reverted back to his alcoholic ways.
Looks like the Cavs are replacing one Boozer with another. (Thank you, I'll be here all week.)
On another subject, I'm reaffirming my ties with the Seattle Sonics. I loved the Sonics growing up, but since moving stateside, well I couldn't help but fall in love with Kevin Garnett, and the Sonics have just gotten worse and worse, making them tougher and tougher to follow because they are never on TV. They've never been in worse shape than they are heading into this season (Seattle and the Warriors are the only teams in the West with absolutely no shot of making the playoffs-if they were in the East, of course, they'd be the 4 and 5 seeds), but I just feel like I need to reaffirm my feelings for the Sonics. Also, this will have no affect on me cheering for Garnett and the Wolves as a conflict of interest, because of course the Wolves will be in the playoffs and the SOnics won't. I will now assume the position as TheJer tees off on me about my lack of loyalties to home-town teams and how he doesn't get a choice in who he cheers for etc.
For the record, in Canada we are cheering vagabonds. We have ONE team we really have to cheer for (our NHL team), and other than that, it's wide open. I have, and always will, refuse to cheer for anything out of Toronto just because they're "the Canadian team". The media bias in Canada coming out of Ontario is so much worse than the East Coast bias in the States I'm not even sure it's scalable. For this reason I hate Toronto and all their teams (I of course exclude this hatred when it comes to hockey players on Team Canada from Ontario for things like the upcoming World Cup of Hockey--which by the way, Canada is going to dominate).
It started for me with the U of Michigan when I was very young thanks to my cousin Kristy who went to school near there. I got the Vikings because of Anthony Carter (and in part because he was from Michigan). As bad as the Mariners are and will be, I have loved them since Griff was a rook (I would take him back in a heartbeat by the way) and always will (and since the M's wont win the World Series this year I would love to see the Cubbies win it). What other sports am I forgetting here? Oh right, the WNBA...wait that's not a sport. Oh, yes I did hop the Gonzaga bandwagon and I don't feel one bit bad about it. Not one. So there.
Looks like the Cavs are replacing one Boozer with another. (Thank you, I'll be here all week.)
On another subject, I'm reaffirming my ties with the Seattle Sonics. I loved the Sonics growing up, but since moving stateside, well I couldn't help but fall in love with Kevin Garnett, and the Sonics have just gotten worse and worse, making them tougher and tougher to follow because they are never on TV. They've never been in worse shape than they are heading into this season (Seattle and the Warriors are the only teams in the West with absolutely no shot of making the playoffs-if they were in the East, of course, they'd be the 4 and 5 seeds), but I just feel like I need to reaffirm my feelings for the Sonics. Also, this will have no affect on me cheering for Garnett and the Wolves as a conflict of interest, because of course the Wolves will be in the playoffs and the SOnics won't. I will now assume the position as TheJer tees off on me about my lack of loyalties to home-town teams and how he doesn't get a choice in who he cheers for etc.
For the record, in Canada we are cheering vagabonds. We have ONE team we really have to cheer for (our NHL team), and other than that, it's wide open. I have, and always will, refuse to cheer for anything out of Toronto just because they're "the Canadian team". The media bias in Canada coming out of Ontario is so much worse than the East Coast bias in the States I'm not even sure it's scalable. For this reason I hate Toronto and all their teams (I of course exclude this hatred when it comes to hockey players on Team Canada from Ontario for things like the upcoming World Cup of Hockey--which by the way, Canada is going to dominate).
It started for me with the U of Michigan when I was very young thanks to my cousin Kristy who went to school near there. I got the Vikings because of Anthony Carter (and in part because he was from Michigan). As bad as the Mariners are and will be, I have loved them since Griff was a rook (I would take him back in a heartbeat by the way) and always will (and since the M's wont win the World Series this year I would love to see the Cubbies win it). What other sports am I forgetting here? Oh right, the WNBA...wait that's not a sport. Oh, yes I did hop the Gonzaga bandwagon and I don't feel one bit bad about it. Not one. So there.
Jeremy: Thank you Martha Stewart
Not sure if you saw this one or not, but recently, after Martha Stewart was sentenced to prison, she made the world aware of the similarities between her impending imprisonment and that of Nelson Mandella. Apparently insider trading is now thought of on the same level as apartheid. We may have never been privy to this metaphor without the wise words of Ms. Stewart. Thank you Martha for putting everything into perspective. So remember kids, the next time you decide to speak out against a statewide policy of racism, be sure that you didn't hear about it from your stock broker.
Talking about these points that Martha has so aptly brought to the forefront of our societal mind really puts things into perspective for me. It really reminds me what is most important in life... VIKINGS TRAINING CAMP OPENS IN 12 DAYS!!!
Talking about these points that Martha has so aptly brought to the forefront of our societal mind really puts things into perspective for me. It really reminds me what is most important in life... VIKINGS TRAINING CAMP OPENS IN 12 DAYS!!!
Thursday, July 15, 2004
Jeff: On second thought...
Ok so a slight retraction on my earlier statements about Shaq: I still think the Pacers and Pistons are better than the Heat. I STILL think Shaq will miss at least 10 games due to injury. I am no longer doubting the man's motivation, however. Did you see his 17-part Sportscenter interview (who was the girl interviewing him by the way? I'm probably the only person disturbed by the growing trend of putting pretty girls with zero sports knowledge in the national sports media-and yes it's because I want their job. And yes I want to be pretty...what?)? The man was quietly, calmly brooding. It was like somebody just robbed him blind, beat him to within an inch of his life and then questioned his manhood. The Sports Guy is pure genuis since he pointed out a couple of days ago that Shaq is out for vengence. Until I saw the Sportscenter interview I didn't believe it. I do now. There's no other word for it. Vengence. (does anybody know how to spell it? Shaq's out for it but I'm pretty sure I'm spelling it wrong). Most people would have blown their top, made a scene, and probably gotten arrested in the process.
Not Shaq. He wants revenge. And he's going to be patient and wait for it. He's got his targets circled and he's preparing. Shaq reminds me of THe Punisher (a movie where a LOT of people get punished). Is it just a coincedence The Punisher takes place in south Florida? And that Shaq now lives in South Florida? I think this will be all we see of him until training camp. I don't even think he buys a mansion. I think he gets a room in some old warehouse. In that time he will have gotten himself a lot of black t-shirts with skulls on them, boarded up the windows, befriended two outcast kids that live down the hall from him, seem totally uninterested in Rebecca Romjin-REALLY really hot-Stamos, and will have lowered his voice about 12 octaves. He will be in the best shape of his career, and may or not "trick" out one of his vehicles with metal windows and bulletproof siding that he COULD use to run the Lakers bus off the road when they come to play the Heat. Not that he would but the option's there.
He says he has a list. A hit list. A list of people that has wronged him. I believe him. I am glad God has spared me from that list. I am glad Shaq doesn't know this website exists (like seemingly everybody else except myself and Jer). He is no longer the Diesel, ShaqFU or Kazaam. He is The Punisher. And make no mistake, people WILL be punished--but he's still on the 3rd best team in the East.
Not Shaq. He wants revenge. And he's going to be patient and wait for it. He's got his targets circled and he's preparing. Shaq reminds me of THe Punisher (a movie where a LOT of people get punished). Is it just a coincedence The Punisher takes place in south Florida? And that Shaq now lives in South Florida? I think this will be all we see of him until training camp. I don't even think he buys a mansion. I think he gets a room in some old warehouse. In that time he will have gotten himself a lot of black t-shirts with skulls on them, boarded up the windows, befriended two outcast kids that live down the hall from him, seem totally uninterested in Rebecca Romjin-REALLY really hot-Stamos, and will have lowered his voice about 12 octaves. He will be in the best shape of his career, and may or not "trick" out one of his vehicles with metal windows and bulletproof siding that he COULD use to run the Lakers bus off the road when they come to play the Heat. Not that he would but the option's there.
He says he has a list. A hit list. A list of people that has wronged him. I believe him. I am glad God has spared me from that list. I am glad Shaq doesn't know this website exists (like seemingly everybody else except myself and Jer). He is no longer the Diesel, ShaqFU or Kazaam. He is The Punisher. And make no mistake, people WILL be punished--but he's still on the 3rd best team in the East.
Wednesday, July 14, 2004
Jeremy: I Will Argue This Point Further
Does it seem like Jeff and I are talking about Shaq a lot? Really? I didn't notice. But seriously, this guy is the single most dominant player in the NBA, he changes how other teams play defense and offense, he causes trades just because teams have to play him four times a year, and he hasn't played with even an ounce of fire in at least 2 years. Are we really not going to talk about him this much?
So the trade we've been talking about for days is finally done. The exact players were involved that were rumored. Jeff and I have been convinced that this was bad for the Heat if anyone. I've just spent 45 minutes reading different articles online about this trade (please don't tell my boss). The national sports writers don't agree with us. They all think this is bad for the Lakers. I'm here to defend myself.
Following the Finals, the bottom line for the Lakers was that Shaq was gone. There was no doubt about this. The next question for them was what was going to happen with the Ego. But here's the deal: when you lose the most dominant player in the game, you are automatically in a rebuilding mode, no matter who else is on your team. With or without Kobe the entire landscape of your team is going to change because the Diesel is out the door. At this point your job is to decide on the best way to rebuild your team. You can go out and get veteran guys... but you already are probably keeping the Mailman and the Glove. You can work on free-agency... but the biggest free agent available is already in your stable, so your priority is already to lock him up. Because you need to keep that enormous amount of money open for the Ego, you can't really pursue any other free agents. Knowing that the Daddy is going, the obvious answer is to find a big man... but that's been the answer to every question in the league for the last 5 years and as long as Shaq is around the answer is irrelavent. The best option left? Find some young talent to put around Kobe. Which team had the best young charismatic (charisma is a huge factor for the Lakers, is it not?) talent in the league last year? (Don't even bother with mentioning Lebron or 'Melo in this discussion... the Lake Show would have a better chance of luring the Pope in free agency.) The Miami Heat. And what do you know? Shaq is actually willing to play in Miami.
My point is this: Yes, the Lakers may regret that they couldn't keep Shaq, but the bottom line is just that... they couldn't. With all of the other factors in place, (nobody knows what's going on in Kobe's head, Dallas was out of the race the minute Nash went to Miami, Shaq need to go to another big time city) Miami was the best option for Shaq and it was the best trade for the Lakers.
So the trade we've been talking about for days is finally done. The exact players were involved that were rumored. Jeff and I have been convinced that this was bad for the Heat if anyone. I've just spent 45 minutes reading different articles online about this trade (please don't tell my boss). The national sports writers don't agree with us. They all think this is bad for the Lakers. I'm here to defend myself.
Following the Finals, the bottom line for the Lakers was that Shaq was gone. There was no doubt about this. The next question for them was what was going to happen with the Ego. But here's the deal: when you lose the most dominant player in the game, you are automatically in a rebuilding mode, no matter who else is on your team. With or without Kobe the entire landscape of your team is going to change because the Diesel is out the door. At this point your job is to decide on the best way to rebuild your team. You can go out and get veteran guys... but you already are probably keeping the Mailman and the Glove. You can work on free-agency... but the biggest free agent available is already in your stable, so your priority is already to lock him up. Because you need to keep that enormous amount of money open for the Ego, you can't really pursue any other free agents. Knowing that the Daddy is going, the obvious answer is to find a big man... but that's been the answer to every question in the league for the last 5 years and as long as Shaq is around the answer is irrelavent. The best option left? Find some young talent to put around Kobe. Which team had the best young charismatic (charisma is a huge factor for the Lakers, is it not?) talent in the league last year? (Don't even bother with mentioning Lebron or 'Melo in this discussion... the Lake Show would have a better chance of luring the Pope in free agency.) The Miami Heat. And what do you know? Shaq is actually willing to play in Miami.
My point is this: Yes, the Lakers may regret that they couldn't keep Shaq, but the bottom line is just that... they couldn't. With all of the other factors in place, (nobody knows what's going on in Kobe's head, Dallas was out of the race the minute Nash went to Miami, Shaq need to go to another big time city) Miami was the best option for Shaq and it was the best trade for the Lakers.
Tuesday, July 13, 2004
Jeff: Shaqing Up...
So here's my 2 cents on the Shaq trade that seems all but inevitable at this point. Bravo. Thank you Lakers. Thank you Shaq. Thank you to the Ego that is Pat Riley. Thank you for shifting the balance of power, if only slightly, back to the East. Granted, the West still is light years better--but the league's most dominant player (when he wants to be, which is usually only in the playoffs) is out of the conference. And this is a VERY good thing.
I know I know I know--the Pistons won the title. As TheJer so elloquently pointed out--it's the 1st time in about forever that the team with the best player hasn't won. Chauncey Billups (thanks again to Kevin McHale for not keeping him around. Couldn't have used him at all in Minny)winning MVP proved that. but this does not mean the East is no on-par with the West. I don't see this whole teammwork thing working much longer though for the Pistons. Rasheed got his title--and he's about to get paid big-time, which means Rasheed will be fading into, as Mike Tyson put it "bolivion" at any moment here.
Wait, this was supposed to be about Shaq, wasn't it? Sorry, I just don't get to write about the NBA often enough so like 90 million ideas start coming out here. (focus...focus...focus) I do not think this is a great trade for the Heat. Shaq, Dwayne Wade (who has to be the happiest player on the planet at this point), and 3 plastic people they pull out of the stands in Miami are STILL not better than Indy, Detroit or even New Jersey (only IF they get K-Mart back). So they're 4th, which is right where they were last year. Yup you have Shaq, who hasn't come to play in a regular season game since... well it'll come to me eventually. But it's been a LONG time since Shaq has cared about more than one regular season game at a time. And before you start saying how motivated Shaq will be after all the off-season turmoil and an NBA playoffs where Kobe wouldn't pass him the ball, remember who we're talking about here: this is Shaquille O'Neal.
This is a man who SHOULD have been the best player of all time. No I'm not kidding. THE best ever. Should have been. But he didn't really care. Never really has. The rapping, the "acting" (a term I use for him as loosely as Gary Payton was playing D last year), the fact that after more than 10 years in the league he STILL can't shoot a free throw. The man is content dominating when he wants to, of loafing through the regular season, dominating when it's there, and then turing it up for the post-season. I don't blame him for the Lakers losing to the Pistons. Shaq was unstoppable--as long as Kobe would pass him the ball.
So that shouldn't be a problem in Miami, right? No, it shouldn't. But Shaq SHOULD average 30 and 20. AT LEAST. Yet he's nowhere close. He'll get the ball all he wants, but he's moving to South Beach, which has to be the #2 most alluring place in the country besides Vegas. How long till Shaq gets more involved with the pretty plastic people than he does with the game? That is unless the Heat can get him in that titanium box they put Lamar Odom in all last year when he wasn't on the court. Seriously, Odom couldn't stay out of trouble in Boise, Idaho. How in the world did he stay trouble-free in a place like Miami? Somebody needs to look into this.
My point to all this rambling is that for Miami to be the best team in the East Shaq has to be dominate for 82 games. This of course is a problem considering he hasn't played 82 games in a season in about 7 or 8 years. If K-Mart doesn't come back to the Nets, which looks like a distinct possibility at this point, then the Heat are the best team in the Atlantic by default. IF K-Mart doesn't come back, they'll be the only team that will finish about .500. Yes, it's that's bad.
As for the Lakers, they're now the 6th best team in the West. 6th. And they don't have Shaq to fall back on when the playoffs come around. This trade isn't anywhere near as good as the one they could have gotten from Dallas, but it does get him out of the conference, and for all of us basketball fans, that's a VERY good thing.
I know I know I know--the Pistons won the title. As TheJer so elloquently pointed out--it's the 1st time in about forever that the team with the best player hasn't won. Chauncey Billups (thanks again to Kevin McHale for not keeping him around. Couldn't have used him at all in Minny)winning MVP proved that. but this does not mean the East is no on-par with the West. I don't see this whole teammwork thing working much longer though for the Pistons. Rasheed got his title--and he's about to get paid big-time, which means Rasheed will be fading into, as Mike Tyson put it "bolivion" at any moment here.
Wait, this was supposed to be about Shaq, wasn't it? Sorry, I just don't get to write about the NBA often enough so like 90 million ideas start coming out here. (focus...focus...focus) I do not think this is a great trade for the Heat. Shaq, Dwayne Wade (who has to be the happiest player on the planet at this point), and 3 plastic people they pull out of the stands in Miami are STILL not better than Indy, Detroit or even New Jersey (only IF they get K-Mart back). So they're 4th, which is right where they were last year. Yup you have Shaq, who hasn't come to play in a regular season game since... well it'll come to me eventually. But it's been a LONG time since Shaq has cared about more than one regular season game at a time. And before you start saying how motivated Shaq will be after all the off-season turmoil and an NBA playoffs where Kobe wouldn't pass him the ball, remember who we're talking about here: this is Shaquille O'Neal.
This is a man who SHOULD have been the best player of all time. No I'm not kidding. THE best ever. Should have been. But he didn't really care. Never really has. The rapping, the "acting" (a term I use for him as loosely as Gary Payton was playing D last year), the fact that after more than 10 years in the league he STILL can't shoot a free throw. The man is content dominating when he wants to, of loafing through the regular season, dominating when it's there, and then turing it up for the post-season. I don't blame him for the Lakers losing to the Pistons. Shaq was unstoppable--as long as Kobe would pass him the ball.
So that shouldn't be a problem in Miami, right? No, it shouldn't. But Shaq SHOULD average 30 and 20. AT LEAST. Yet he's nowhere close. He'll get the ball all he wants, but he's moving to South Beach, which has to be the #2 most alluring place in the country besides Vegas. How long till Shaq gets more involved with the pretty plastic people than he does with the game? That is unless the Heat can get him in that titanium box they put Lamar Odom in all last year when he wasn't on the court. Seriously, Odom couldn't stay out of trouble in Boise, Idaho. How in the world did he stay trouble-free in a place like Miami? Somebody needs to look into this.
My point to all this rambling is that for Miami to be the best team in the East Shaq has to be dominate for 82 games. This of course is a problem considering he hasn't played 82 games in a season in about 7 or 8 years. If K-Mart doesn't come back to the Nets, which looks like a distinct possibility at this point, then the Heat are the best team in the Atlantic by default. IF K-Mart doesn't come back, they'll be the only team that will finish about .500. Yes, it's that's bad.
As for the Lakers, they're now the 6th best team in the West. 6th. And they don't have Shaq to fall back on when the playoffs come around. This trade isn't anywhere near as good as the one they could have gotten from Dallas, but it does get him out of the conference, and for all of us basketball fans, that's a VERY good thing.
Sunday, July 11, 2004
Jeremy: Miami Mortgages the Farm
Okay, forget the Brian Grant part of the equation. He had about 2 good seasons over his career, he's getting up in age, and beside all that, if anyone could ever get to him and cut that hair, he'd be all but washed up.
Caron Butler and Lamar Odom for Shaq. That's the (proposed) deal. If the Lakers are looking to rebuild, it's a great deal for them, especially if Ego, I mean Kobe, sticks around. If the Heat are looking to win now, it's good for them too... at least on the surface. It automatically makes the East look tougher and it makes the West look much more wide open. Dare I say that it's a good thing for everyone involved?
Off the record Jeff has said that if he was Miami, he wouldn't do it. And I have to agree that the only part of the deal that seems a little suspect to me is not so much what Miami is getting (because who wouldn't want Shaq?) but what they are giving up. The thing that took Miami further than anyone gave them a shot to go last year was how they came together as a young team who just loved playing together and wanted to win together. Butler and Odom were a huge part of that, but now it's gone. So does adding Shaq make up for the loss of chemistry of a bunch of young guys? I don't know, why don't we ask last year's Lakers? True, they didn't win the championship, but they got there, and there was not a drip of chemistry on that team. The team with the best player in the league is always going to win the championship or be right there at the end. Go ahead, look at the last 20 years of NBA basketball. Lakers, Celtics, Pistons, Bulls, Rockets, Spurs and the Lakers again. Magic (or Kareem), Bird, Isiah, MJ, the Dream, Duncan & Shaq. In fact, I would contend the only team to win an NBA title in the last 20 years that didn't have the best player in the league on their team? The 03-04 Pistons, and the reason they did it was because their defense was so unbelievably dominating that it was better than any one player.
My point is this, as long as Shaq is in the league and mildly healthy, he is the best player in the league. Yes, the Pistons proved that unreal defense could shut him down, but only one team in the league can play that kind of defense right now, and even they played over their heads in the finals.
I do think that Miami can be questioned for making this deal, but you best believe that they would be questioned more if they didn't.
Caron Butler and Lamar Odom for Shaq. That's the (proposed) deal. If the Lakers are looking to rebuild, it's a great deal for them, especially if Ego, I mean Kobe, sticks around. If the Heat are looking to win now, it's good for them too... at least on the surface. It automatically makes the East look tougher and it makes the West look much more wide open. Dare I say that it's a good thing for everyone involved?
Off the record Jeff has said that if he was Miami, he wouldn't do it. And I have to agree that the only part of the deal that seems a little suspect to me is not so much what Miami is getting (because who wouldn't want Shaq?) but what they are giving up. The thing that took Miami further than anyone gave them a shot to go last year was how they came together as a young team who just loved playing together and wanted to win together. Butler and Odom were a huge part of that, but now it's gone. So does adding Shaq make up for the loss of chemistry of a bunch of young guys? I don't know, why don't we ask last year's Lakers? True, they didn't win the championship, but they got there, and there was not a drip of chemistry on that team. The team with the best player in the league is always going to win the championship or be right there at the end. Go ahead, look at the last 20 years of NBA basketball. Lakers, Celtics, Pistons, Bulls, Rockets, Spurs and the Lakers again. Magic (or Kareem), Bird, Isiah, MJ, the Dream, Duncan & Shaq. In fact, I would contend the only team to win an NBA title in the last 20 years that didn't have the best player in the league on their team? The 03-04 Pistons, and the reason they did it was because their defense was so unbelievably dominating that it was better than any one player.
My point is this, as long as Shaq is in the league and mildly healthy, he is the best player in the league. Yes, the Pistons proved that unreal defense could shut him down, but only one team in the league can play that kind of defense right now, and even they played over their heads in the finals.
I do think that Miami can be questioned for making this deal, but you best believe that they would be questioned more if they didn't.
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