Jeff: The Monday Musings

Well hello there. Hope you're all enjoying "Easter Monday" and the day off that comes with it...oh wait, um, that's right, you don't live in a metric socialist country where they take all your money in taxes but give back with 4 day weekends for Easter. I believe Sean Connery said it best when he said "Suck it Trebek!"
I'm not even sure what that means.

* Ok so I suck at golf and don't pay attention to it other than when the 4 majors are on, which is a nice way of saying I'm uneducated. But here's my question: would you rather see a tourney that's played well, with Tigger and Lefty and Ernie and Vijay and Weir (I have to include him now that I live here. It's communist law) playing under par and making great shot after great shot? Or one like this weekend's Masters where the course just kicks everybody's ass all weekend long? Because I'd definitely choose the former. I mean I know the rich old crusty white guys at Augusta probably LOVE seeing their course pull an Iron Lotus on the world's best, but it's not as much fun to watch. Maybe it's me. Oh and just who the hell is Zach Johnson anyway?


* So my baseball team, which happens to be none other than the 1st place Seattle Mariners, had an entire weekend of baseball snowed out. Yes snow (I'm choosing to overlook the fact that the only reason Seattle remains in 1st is because of the snow). Would it make too much sense to play the 1st week or so of the season in sunny locales or places with domes? Sure global warming will make this point moot in about 10 years, but for the next 9, is it such a bad idea to not have guys freezing their asses off or fighting through snowstorms? Isn't baseball hard enough already?

* I now hate the Red Sox almost as much as the Yankees (really what's the difference between the two teams now? Well other than the Sox fanbase is way more whiny and annoying?), but I'll make one comment on them after watching their 3-2 victory over Texas last night: moving Jonathan Papelbon back to closer might be the best move of the season- for anybody. Papelboner came in the 8th last night with runners at 1st & 3rd with one out, and Texas' 2 best hitters due up: SS Michael Young and 1B Mark Teixiera. The Boner struck out Young on 4 pitches, then got Teixiera to pop up on the 5th. Inning over. He then mowed down the next 3 Ranger hitters in the 9th. Ball game. I am well aware of the age old argument that starters are more valuable than relievers, and I understand the "pro starter" argument, but after watching last night, the Red Sox definitely did the right thing moving him to the closer's role. He and Joe Nathan are the two best in baseball, and it's a huge edge when you know you have a guy like that to protect late leads. I'm not sayin, I'm just sayin.

* Hockey playoffs start Wednesday! Feel the excitment! It's hockey mania here, but it's just plain stupid that we have teams like Atlanta and Tampa Bay in the playoffs and not Toronto or Montreal. Great job on the expansion there Gary Bettman. You've got so much parity in your league that the two largest markets and most popular teams in Canada are staying home so that southerners who wouldn't know a puck if they were hit in the head with one (frankly they probably wouldn't feel that either) can take a break from playing Toby Keith and watching NASCAR to watch hockey...and then immediately forget it and stop caring the instant "their" team is eliminated. At least Minnesota made it, and considering they're playing my least favorite sports franchise on earth, well, Go WILD! is all I have to say! At least until they play the Canucks. Then it's on!

* Finally, ESPN.com did an Ultimate Franchise Rankings where they polled a bunch of fans on a myriad of questions and categories, and came out with the "best franchise" ranked from 1 to 122. Your top 5: Buffalo Sabres, San Antonio Spurs, Dallas Mavericks, Indy Colts, and the Detwah Pistons. The Twinkies finished 14th, with the 4th most likeable/hardest working players, the 3rd worst stadium (3 wild guesses at what the worst was. here's a hint: it's the same building!), and somehow only the 77th best ownership group (Sid Hartman must have done the voting there). The Pack were 23rd (Lambeau was voted the #2 stadium. #1? Wait for it...), the Wild ranked 29th (#1 stadium in all of sports. Couldn't agree more), my Canucks were 74th, my 1st place Seattle Mariners were 90th (10th best stadium), and your Minnesota Timberwolves were ranked 109 (both their coaching/managing and "Title track" ranked 117th- or 5th worst. The fans must not read Forbes?). But of course the icing on the cake is the bottom 5. Ladies and gentlemen, fans of The Purple, your 5 worst pro franchises in all of sports as voted on by the fans:
1) Detwah Leones
2) Oakland Raiders
3) New York Knicks
4) YOUR MINNESOTA VIKINGS!!!!
5) Chicago Blackhawks

That's right, if you thought Viking fan morale was at an all-time low, well, you're absolutely right! Thanks Chilly! Thanks Ziggy! And thank you Viking fans for voting. I can't WAIT for football seaon now! You know it's bad when the best thing for the franchise would be an awful season so that Chilly and the entire staff (front office included) gets canned and we get as high a draft pick as possible for 2008. That's my hope! That's my Vikings! Catch the Purple Fever!