The Monday Musings

A few thoughts before Memphis takes Kansas out behind the woodshed tonight...

* Hey let's all make a big deal about Tigers freshman guard Derrick Rose, who SHOULD be the #1 pick in this June's NBA draft, missing a media session because of a stomach ache caused by eating too many gummy worms and candy. I don't know about you, but I ALWAYS ate healthy foods when I was 19, and still do to this day...or wait, no I ate horrible amounts of horrible food at horrible hours when I was 19. And 20. And 21...you get the idea. He's a college freshman, away from home for the first time, and away from mom's cooking for the first time. If the worst thing he does this season is eat too much junk food, I'd feel pretty good about if I were any NBA team with the first pick this June. Of course too much will be made of this, as well as the "fact" you just "can't" take a point guard not named Magic Johnson with the first pick. Yes I'm going to beat this to death until June's draft, and yes you're probably going to get sick of it.

* Speaking of June's draft, the NBA is going to have to come up with a new way to prevent teams from tanking to improve their draft position, because for a second straight year, at least one team is openly tanking. Last year it was the Boston Celtics and Memphis Grizzlies, whose starters magically came down with mysterious ailments that sidelined them for the last month of the season, forcing the teams to play their bench and pull people out of the stands to fill out the roster. This year it's the Miami Heat, who first shelved Dwyane Wade for the year, and now its forward Shawn Marion who's done for the season with a foot ailment of some sort. A really severe case of athlete's foot, or maybe one of those bad blisters you get from a pair of new shoes? Anyway, there's no way Marion, who over the past five years has been a real iron man by averaging 80 games a year, can play through this one. So their two best players are "out" and since beating the hapless Bucks (who aren't tanking, but are just this terrible) March 24th, the Heat have lost seven straight, six by double digits. If A-hole Stern is serious about the integrity of his league- well other than allowing a carpet-bagging redneck friend to steal a basketball team from the good people of Seattle who have supported the league for 41 years- then he's going to have to come up with something else besides the draft lottery to stop teams from tanking games. Not that I have any sympathy for the mostly bandwagon fans of Miami who live by the beach in gorgeous weather every day, but wouldn't you be a little ticked if you were paying good money to watch a team who didn't try? The Wolves are bad but at least they're trying right? Anyway, this is going longer than I planned and is an argument for another day. One thing I AM interested in is the following: the Grizz and Celts ended up with the worst possible picks they could have last year. I want to see if the Heat, who appear to be the only team openly tanking this season, end up having the same thing happen to them on ping-pong-ball-day. I mean of course it would just be, you know, coincidence because David Stern would never rig a draft to prove a point...or give the Knicks Patrick Ewing...or Michael Jordan the first pick when he was in Washington while giving the Bulls the worst possible pick they could have gotten...all just coincidence. Anyway, something to ponder.

* Don't look now but some baseball fans are in a PANIC!!!!!!! after one, count them, ONE week of baseball. ONE. Nothing like an extremely small sample size here people. Yup, the Orioles (this will not continue long) and Royals (this could- not like "World Series contender" could, but "definitely hang around .500 and make a run at the wild card" kind of could) are tops in the AL while the Florida Marlins (fiesty) and the St. Louis Cardinals (never underestimate the power of Tony LaRussa's tinted glasses. They are a baseball power unto itself, full of reverance, power, and strang wonders! Wait where was I?) lead the NL. Ben Broussard and something called Xavier Nady lead the league in homers while AJ Pierzynski (who's more annoying? AJ or Hawk Harrelson? Wait this is like the would you rather question when it's "would you rather_________ or watch the WNBA?" It's always the WNBA just as it's always Hawk Harrelson! No broadcaster is worse! Noone is more annoying! Nobody is more of a homer! Nobody makes me want to stab my eye out with a pen more! Fine, you know what? I'm throwing it down right here, right now: would you rather listen to a game called by Hawk Harrelson, or watch a WNBA game?" You have to choose one. And if you choose option c, which is "I'd rather burn in hell", just remember that under that option that while said burning is occurring, you also have to watch a WNBA game called by Hawk Harrelson. So whatever you do, don't choose c) and Jason Kendall lead their respective leagues in batting average. People, it's the first week of the season. Calm the $%&* down! This happens every year. Give it a month or two before you start heading for the ledge- well unless you're a fan of Minnesota, Seattle, San Fran or Houston, in which case, start thinking about football season.

* Or the NHL playoffs!! That's right, if you're one of the seven lucky homes in the United States that have access to some cable channel called Versus, then starting Wednesday night you too can enjoy the thrills and excitement that is Stanley Cup playoff action!! Ok seriously the NHL playoffs are always great, and the overtime games are some of the best in sports. That should be fun. I will spare you my rant on the Canucks missing the playoffs (long story short: they over-achieved last year, and this year's finish is much more indicative of their true talent level. They're not very good. They're goalie's the best in the league, their D is solid, and their forwards might be the worst in the league. Also they're boring as hell to watch. Trade the Sedins NOW before you have to pay $6 million a year each to be 2nd line players who disappear in the playoffs- just like most European forwards, and invest in good North American players who actually grow up dreaming of winning the Stanley Cup. Just a thought), and despite them not being in it, there's still plenty of intrigue. Well actually for me just with two teams: the Caps and Pens. Alex Ovechkin is the exception to the "Euros never show up in the playoffs" rule and is the best player in the league right now. If starting a franchise, he's my #1 choice. I would love, love, LOVE to see a Pens/Caps 2nd round series. It's about all I'm hoping for other than some good overall playoff hockey.

* If you're sincerely interested about the NHL playoffs, and want to listen to some guys who actually know what they're talking about, go on I-Tunes and search "Coast to Coast NHL Hockey" for the Coast to Coast NHL Hockey podcast. They're 6 guys I went to BCIT with who do a great job, really know their stuff, and they get good hockey media people from across Canada on the show. Check it out.

OK done with hockey talk, I promise. Enjoy the National Final tonight. Let's hope Kansas can make a game of it.