The Monday Musings

...Are you ready to live in a world where the Chicago Bears are two touchdowns better than the Indianapolis Colts? ON THE ROAD? For me, there were very few surprises yesterday (the Falcons running all over the Lions was certainly one of them), but this one was a shocker. Are the Colts worse than we thought? The Bears are certainly better, but when I had them pegged for the league's worst record, and most others thought they would be last in the NFC, there was nowhere to go but up. I'm still not sure how the Bears kept getting first downs when you know Kyle Orton cannot and will not beat you, especially when the Colts have Bob Sanders, one of the best run defenders and difference-maker safeties in the league. Offensively, Colts weren't bad, they just couldn't score, or run the football. Still a LONG way to go here, but interesting to see whether this was just a blip for the Colts or a sign of things to come.

...Are you ready to live in a world where the New England Patriots are mere mortals? Tom Brady's really done for the year, the Patriots, at least to me, become average at best. Yes they have offensive talent around new QB Matt Cassell, but Brady is what made that offense go. And defensively, they're good but not great. Cassell, as I'm sure you've already seen or read, hasn't started a football game since high school (he got stuck behind both Carson Palmer and Matt Leinart at USC), so thinking the 7th round pick can lead the Pats back to the playoffs, let alone a Super Bowl, is a stretch right now.

...If Brady really is done, this season will be very wide open. With the performances Sunday of the Colts, Chargers, and Jags, we may not have a dominant team in the AFC (well ok maybe the Steelers. Maybe. And yes the Texans team they routed 38-17 was the same one I picked to make the playoffs. I may regret that one). Some people may be excited for a playoff race where every team's in it until week 17 and the best record is 10 wins, but I am not one of those people.

...Seriously, who are the five best teams right now? In his weekly MMQB column, Peter King has Dallas, Pittsburgh, The GMen, Jacksonville and Philly as his top 5. I predicted Dallas to have the NFC's best record, and after watching them manhandle Cleveland, I feel confident with that one (also the Marion Barber/Felix Jones combo is downright scary). With Brady's injury they now have the league's best offense, and the defense should be good enough. Pittsburgh would also be my #2, but after that? Really who is there from yesterday? Philly beat a crappy Rams squad, Jacksonville LOST to Tennessee (who could be without Vince Young for four weeks. Don't tell fans of the Black Brett Favre, but that's a good thing for the Teetahns), and the Giants looked ok against a Redskins team that I have no idea about right now (and anybody who says they have a good read on the Skinnies is lying. Did you watch their Thursday nighter? They could win 10 games, or 4. Neither would surprise me). Because I'm so bullish on the Saints, I'm going to keep banging you over the head with the idea that they're good, and considering they beat a good Tampa team with Drew Brees throwing for 343 on a really good defense, you should start believing me. Just trust me, start singing the praises of the Saints now, and you'll look like a genius around the office in no time. And you can pretend like it's your idea.

...I suppose when I ask you who the top 5 teams are that I should give you a top 5, but I can really only come up with 3: Dallas, Pittsburgh, and New Orleans. Philly would be fourth. I have absolutely no idea who the fifth team would be. Just for fun, let's put Atlanta.

...You know it's fall when the air gets cooler, the leaves start changing colors, and the Detroit Lions get blown out in their opener. This was season #58 and counting where there were some rumblings in the media to "watch out, this could be the year for Detroit!" And right on cue, the Lions stunk. It's good to know that 50 years from now I might finally have an HDTV, Detwah will suck, and Brett Favre will still be retiring and unretiring.

...I've already read one article talking about "trying to bringing Pats fans back from the ledge." Gee you're right. I mean, they've been through so much! Besides the Super Bowl loss which, as a Vikings fan I'm plenty used to, not to mention their 2 previous Super Bowl victories, this just has to be hard for the Patriots. Can't they catch a break here? They can't even turn to their beloved Red Sox, who will probably ONLY be a wild card before going onto win the World Series. Let's all take a moment and remember our poor Boston sports fans. With your support, hopefully we can pull them through.

...You know what's a hard decision? Choosing your fantasy football lineup every week. I know, I know, nobody wants to hear about my fantasy football team, just like I don't want to hear about yours. But seriously, you want to hear about this because yesterday, right before leaving for church, I decided I wasn't confident starting Michael Turner of the Falcons against Detwah. Why? Um...there's a reason there somewhere. I ended up thinking Ricky Williams would be a better idea. I swear to you I am not and have not been smoking any of Ricky's herbal medicinal stimulants. So I made the switch, only to be sitting at Keyes downtown with Kristy watching Turner destroy the Lions while Ricky kept running in the line of scrimmage.

...You know what's not a hard decision? Choosing what I'm going to eat when I go to Chipotle. Like Sunday, and each and every time I go to Chipotle, I ended up having to choose between a chicken burrito, a chicken burrito, or maybe, just maybe, a chicken burrito. And you know what? I chose a chicken burrito. And it was everything I hoped it would be.

...Actually that's not true. There was something severely lacking in my chicken burrito: Chipotle flavored tabasco sauce. When I'm getting a burrito to go, I do not like to unwrap my burrito to put the chipotle tobasco goodness in it because I'm not a burrito-folding professional (I know, you're surprised by that. Well I'm sorry, I'm not.) so I can never get the damn thing folded back into the tinfoil right. I realized after tonight that's just a silly excuse, because it's just not the same without the tobasco sauce. So I'm either going to have to get better at refolding them, or else just start keeping a bottle of the chipotle tobasco in my car. You're right, I should do both just to make sure I never have to eat a chipotle burrito again with that chipotle tobasco sauce.

...I can't even rationally talk about the Vikings game tonight. While I hate the Packers, I'm very worried that the Pack are indeed the fifth best team in the league. If the Falcons and Ravens can win in week 1 with rookie QB's, it's not out of the question for the Packers to win, and keep winning, while Aaron Rodgers figures things out. Let's hope I'm wrong, let's hope Rodgers is awful and the Vikes defense wreaks havoc, and Tavaris Jackson completes a couple of passes not only to the right team, but further than five yards down field. Preparing for the worst, and hoping for the best: welcome to the Minnesota Vikings 2008!