Jeff: The Monday Musings

* I don't pretend to understand golf, but was yesterday's final round of the US Open the football equivalent to a 3-0 Super Bowl, where both teams turn it over 12 times each, miss 8 field goals, and only total 300 yards between them? NOBODY could make a shot yesterday! I understand these Major courses are supposed to be incredibly challenging, but the winner finishing at +5? Only 12 golfers scoring under par for a day the ENTIRE TOURNAMENT? And nobody did it more than once? Either Wingfoot was too tough, or nobody showed up.

* Poor Lefty Mickelson. In his post-match interview, he looked and sounded like a guy who had driven his car into the side of house while sleep-walking. It's like he had no idea what he was doing on 18! He IS the real life Tin Cup! He's like the guy who's up big and black jack and can't walk away. He has to have that rush to the very end, even if it means losing everything!

* The only guy more upset than Lefty or Monty yesterday had to be Tiger Woods. The guy misses the cut Friday at +12, which of course ended up being only 7 shots off the lowest score! Tigger's feeling like had he just made a putt here or there on Friday to make the cut, that tournament was his.

* I felt kind of like Lefty Mickelson Saturday after watching the US/Italy futbol match. Had I really just spent the past 2 hours watching a 1-1 tie where the States' only goal came from Italy scoring on itself? How had it happened? Where was my brain when I made this decision? Why didn't I get up from the couch and go do something else? Had I just watched a game where players are not rewarded for passing to a wide-open man (because it's offsides)? Did I really watch a sport where a supposedly good team (The Italians) would drop to the ground like they had been shot if an American player got anywhere near them? I mean, I've heard of diving, but they were taking this to an entirely new level. Twice a guy was taken off on a stretcher, acting as though the pain in his leg was so bad they may have to amputate. And both times, literally just a minute or two later, the guy was back on the field fresh as a daisy. I was shocked that the mob, one of the toughest group of men on the planet, could come from the same country as these floundering, cowering babies. No wonder soccer's never caught on in America-- we actually like our athletes to act like men!

* Speaking of men, there are few bigger in sports right now than Dwayne Wade. Anyone out there still want to take Lebron or Kobe over Wade as the NBA's best player? Anyone? Left for dead after losing the first two games of the series (including by yours truly), Wade has strapped the Heat to his back and has been the One-Man-Mission he's had to be. Yes he's gotten the benefit of some calls, including the one that got him to the line to hit the game-winning free throws, but a) that's nothing new in the NBA for superstars to get calls and b) David Stern couldn't help him hit those free throws. He did all of that on his own!

* By the way, Wade's 3 consecutive Finals games of 35+ points puts him in rarified air: only Shaq (twice), Iverson, Jordan, Rick Barry, and Elgin Baylor have ever done it.

* And what happened to Dirk's "clutchness"? As much as I love The Diggler, I've ripped on him in past season's for not showing up in the playoffs. After his performances against Phoenix, and especially San Antonio, I thought he had finally moved past his old choking ways. But they've certainly returned in THe Finals. So was his "Clutchness" in the first 3 rounds an abberition? Is there some rule where a German player in another sport cannot overshadow his country when they're playing in the World Cup? Is there a time-limit on how successful a guy can be after admitting to liking David Hasselhoff? Is there only so many times we can reference that his dad REALLY wanted him to play handball instead of basketball before the basketball gods finally say "You know what? Maybe you SHOULD have played handball!"?

* In case you're wondering, Dallas wins game 6 tomorrow night, and Miami wins game 7 Thursday night.

* Finally, game 7 of the Stanley Cup Finals is tonight (and it's on NBC, a channel you actually get! I would encourage you to watch it, as I will be). Here's my question for the day: what are the Hurricanes telling people in Carolina to get them to show up?
That there's a tractor pull during the intermission?
There'll be a NASCAR race on ice?
Maybe free beer and Toby Keith cd's for anyone showing up wearing red?
Free gun-rack for their pickup for the first 10,000 people?