Jeremy: Detroit, Here We Come

I'm beginning to feel old. In just a few days I will be turning 27.
25 was a disappointing birthday. It's sort of a benchmark birthday, but that was not an enjoyable one. You assume certain things about turning 25 and when those things aren't a reality you begin to take an inventory of your life's events.
26 was no big deal. By 26 you have had a year to finish up the inventory process and come to grips with where you are at.
27? That's just a different story. I imagine the next couple of birthdays will be a wash until the dreaded 30 year mark roles around in just a few years. People my age are at a point where they can finally afford to do and have most of the things that they wanted when they were 21, but now they just don't have the energy to go through with them.
So why am I telling you this? I'm really not sure. Oh, wait, yes I do. I bought myself an early birthday present last week. A new cowboy hat. (I am wearing it right now.)
Here's the deal, 6 months ago I hated country music. Now? I listen to country almost exclusively and I own not one but two cowboy hats. Have I gone off the deep end? It's quite possible.
The point is this: if you would have told me six months ago that I would own two cowboy hats by mid-November I would have laughed heartily at you. If you would have told me six months ago that the Gophers would lose 5 of their last six games to end the season, I would have at least thought you were crazy. If you would have told me six months ago that Glen Mason would be at the top of the list of people who need to be sucker punched in the stomach by me, I wouldn't have believed there was even a chance of that happening.
And yet here I am six months later in front of a computer, wearing a cowboy hat, and absolutely shaking my head at what has happened to my Gophers.
Last year the Gophers put together the best record as a team that they had had in decades. The record on paper was very impressive. And good ol' Glen was sure to tell us how impressive it was. But I never really believed that they were a good football team. They didn't beat any great teams, they won a lot of games against very mediocre teams, and they never really looked like the kind of team that could challenge the heavy hitters. They played their best game of the season in the Alamo Bowl against Oregon but outside of that you never had the feeling they were a good team.
And that is what makes this season so hard to swallow: this year they actually looked like a good team, but absolutely everything went wrong at all the wrong times.
At the Metrodome yesterday against Iowa I looked at the game clock with 4:22 left and I had absolutely no clue how we were even in the game. The fact that we only lost by two points amazes me. Iowa beat us in every aspect of the game. (You have no idea how had it was for me to write that last sentence.)
On the Gophers last offensive drive of the game they were moving the ball well and there was a split second where I actually believed that we were going to steal the game from Iowa. It didn't take me long to remember who I was watching and the Gophers proceeded to fizzle out. The salt continued to be rubbed into this years wounds when the merry Englishman missed a field goal that he shouldn't even have had to kick.
Are the Gophers going to a bowl game? Probably. Their 6 wins most likely puts them into some low-tier bowl game brought to you by a mostly low-tier sponsor. If they get into something like the Alamo Bowl again I will personally be driving to El Paso to find out exactly what the people who decide who plays in that game are smoking because that has got to be some grade-A premium geef. They more accurately deserve something like the Motor City Bowl. And speaking of premium weed, who decided that Detroit should get a college football bowl game? Ted Nugent must be a big college football fan and he threatened to castrate somebody if a bowl game wasn't brought to his city. Is there really any other explanation for this?
But I don't believe that the Gophers even deserve the Motor City Bowl. I think they should stay home.
Actually, I take that back. Let's send the Gophs to Detroit. In the meantime, somebody get the Nuge on the phone and see if he is available to coach the team that day.