Jeff: A Commission We Actually Need

I realize this is a sports site, but with the approval of The Jer, I am going to delve into another area of life, one that I have even less expertise and authority to speak on than sports. But it needs to be said, so bear with me. And if anyone's seen TheDan, please let him know there's some love-struck bandit masquerading on his website, posing as TheDan himself. Thank you.

After purchasing the new Dave Matthews Band cd, I have come to two conclusions:
1) Dave is officially off my "Eagerly and Automatically Buy Their New CD" list
2) a new commission or law needs to be made against musicians and the music industry

Now listen when I say this, NOBODY hates all of these frivalous lawsuits and whiny "I HAVE RIGHTS" crap more than me. I'm going to give people something to complain about if I hear one more person whining about how their 19th amendment rights were violated. Shut up. If you have a roof over your head, a decent job and a family you can come home to SHUT UP. There are a lot of people in the world who have it much worse than you, whose needs are being overshadowed or drowned-out by your whining because your kid got cut from their volleyball team or because God-forbid somebody has an "I Love Jesus" bumpersticker that offended you. Trust me when I say I'm the last person that wants to see another commission or more rules or more people telling other people what their rights are or are not. But after listening to Dave's newest cd, and reading band comments (thanks for those Joely) about how "this is our best studio session ever and everybody really gets it" and blahblahblah, something must be done.

Maybe it's my fault for holding DMB to a higher standard. I still consider them the most talented band on the planet, and if you look at any of their EARLY work, regardless of whether you like their music or not, I don't know how anyone could disagree. But this new cd is their worst, and yet they are not the first band, and certainly not the last, that will continue to pump out crap long after they should, and promote it like it's the greatest thing they've ever done. Like athletes, I think 99.9% of bands have a shelf life. Some athletes hang on longer than they should, but generally because your body can't perform in your 40's like it did in your 20's or 30's, sporting careers have a limited time frame. And in some cases, even that's too long. I wish the same were true for musicians. I believe most musicians (I of course don't included boy bands or most of these "Top 40" divas in this because, after all, they're NOT musicians but rather plastic puppets--or as they'd say in Office Space "No Talent A$$ Clowns") start out writing music and creating songs out of passion. Whether it was a life event that changed them or something in them that stirs, they are provoked into expressing it in song. They're doing it because they love it, not because they'll sell a bazillion records and get on MTV and be famous. They have something to say, something that's important to them, and they've found a passionate creative outlet for that. Look at some of the best rock songs of all time, from the '60's to today, and you'll see my point. The vast majority of it was written early in an artists' career, before overwhelming wealth and fame took over.

To me, it's just not possible to find that same creativity and passion when you're cruising in your Bentley with your "bling-bling" and Playboy playmates on your way to one of your 7 mansions in paradise. Good for those who accomplish success and fame and enjoy it to the fullest, but there's no way on earth you can make good music living that lifestyle. You just can't. Look at Lenny Kravitz. He had something to say back in the day, he had some soul and some great songs. Now he's simply making songs that he hopes gets picked up for commercials (Gap) or intros to sporting events on TV. Essentially it's crap, but those who have no taste or are diehard fans hoping for a glimpse of the old days, will keep getting duped into buying his albums. If we had warning labels

"WARNING: THIS ARTIST IS SO FAR OUT OF TOUCH WITH REALITY THEY ARE INCAPABLE OF MAKING DECENT MUSIC BUT TO MASSAGE THEIR EGOS WE'RE RELEASING THIS ANYWAYS"

Just something to let people know they're mailing it in from their yacht in the Camans. How do we determine when a band has peaked? Why a commission of Jer and myself and our friends of course (we'd include TheDan but he's too busy making out these days). Anyways, we'll give a band one album after their first platinum album, be that 2 or 12 into their career, before their work comes before"The Committee". NOw we're not going to stop people from putting out music, after all, stupid people have rights to buy music too, but we're going to at least warn people if a band has peaked. Now bands that, despite great success, steer clear of the spotlight (Radiohead and Pearl Jam come to mind), we will have no problems allowing them to continue. We also don't want to stand in the way of the next U2, who despite fame and fortune have incredibly turned out good music for 20+ years. But they're the exception. Bands like Creed are the rule. It's the least that we can do to prevent unfortuneate things like heavy sales for Dave's new songs from people that still think the old, talented free-flowing DMB may return someday. Because it's not.