When you don't have cable your daytime television options are limited. Right now I have the option to watch The Price Is Right, The View, Maury Povich, a local variety news program, Celebrity Justice, Judge Joe Brown, or an infomercial about Oreck Vacuum cleaners.
Now the obvious choice, of course is the infomercial. I just can't get enough of that over-the-top David Oreck comedy.
But, perhaps your opinion on the matter will change when I tell you what is on Maury Povich. "Wild Opposites... & They're Madly In Love." You've made a wise choice my friend!
It's important that Maury makes us aware of the fact that somewhere out there a 7 foot woman who is dating a midget. A 22 year old red-head is dating a 63 year old man. A 73 year old blind man is married to a 400 pound gal who happens to be wearing leapord print stretch pants. An adult film star from New York is dating an overweight Hispanic bus diver from Florida. That is just good television!
There's craziness all around us. Thank goodness for Maury Povich.
Here's a couple of quick notes on September 25 and 26 games...
*The beauty that is the Gophers running game continued against N'Western. 251 yards and 3 touchdowns. Does anyone doubt this is the best rushing attack in the country? Maroney and Barber are the top two rushers in the Big 10. There's no joke here, I just had to let that be known.
*The Vikes limped to their second win of the season over the Bad News Bears. Still no sign of Chris Hovan. Also, Onterrio Smith will have his appeal to the league heard in just a couple of bong hits. I mean weeks.
*The Falcons are 3-0 without T.J. Duckett and Vick is not having a particularly good season. What the?
*The marathon known as the Packers/Indy game ended in a Colts win. Suddenly the Pack has two losses and too many guys with dreads.
*USC finally looked like they might be beatable as the mathmaticians from Stanford had them against the ropes. USC's big break came when the Stanford linebackers broke out into a discussion about the many ways to prove the Pythagorean Theorem.
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When I was in Elementary School (Lincoln at Mann, bitches!) there was this kid in my class whose dad was over 6 feet, but his mom was a midget. I saw his parents sometimes. He wasn't quite a midget, and he wasn't quite normal either. The bullies didn't know how to make fun of him. They tried calling him "halfie" but it didn't really stick. He mostly just looked like he was a little shorter than everyone, but he had a midget head (you know what I mean) and his torso was really long...anyway.
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