Thursday, July 15, 2004

Jeff: On second thought...

Ok so a slight retraction on my earlier statements about Shaq: I still think the Pacers and Pistons are better than the Heat. I STILL think Shaq will miss at least 10 games due to injury. I am no longer doubting the man's motivation, however. Did you see his 17-part Sportscenter interview (who was the girl interviewing him by the way? I'm probably the only person disturbed by the growing trend of putting pretty girls with zero sports knowledge in the national sports media-and yes it's because I want their job. And yes I want to be pretty...what?)? The man was quietly, calmly brooding. It was like somebody just robbed him blind, beat him to within an inch of his life and then questioned his manhood. The Sports Guy is pure genuis since he pointed out a couple of days ago that Shaq is out for vengence. Until I saw the Sportscenter interview I didn't believe it. I do now. There's no other word for it. Vengence. (does anybody know how to spell it? Shaq's out for it but I'm pretty sure I'm spelling it wrong). Most people would have blown their top, made a scene, and probably gotten arrested in the process. 
 
Not Shaq. He wants revenge. And he's going to be patient and wait for it. He's got his targets circled and he's preparing. Shaq reminds me of THe Punisher (a movie where a LOT of people get punished). Is it just a coincedence The Punisher takes place in south Florida? And that Shaq now lives in South Florida? I think this will be all we see of him until training camp. I don't even think he buys a mansion. I think he gets a room in some old warehouse. In that time he will have gotten himself a lot of black t-shirts with skulls on them, boarded up the windows, befriended two outcast kids that live down the hall from him, seem totally uninterested in Rebecca Romjin-REALLY really hot-Stamos, and will have lowered his voice about 12 octaves. He will be in the best shape of his career, and may or not "trick" out one of his vehicles with metal windows and bulletproof siding that he COULD use to run the Lakers bus off the road when they come to play the Heat. Not that he would but the option's there.
 
He says he has a list. A hit list. A list of people that has wronged him. I believe him. I am glad God has spared me from that list. I am glad Shaq doesn't know this website exists (like seemingly everybody else except myself and Jer). He is no longer the Diesel, ShaqFU or Kazaam. He is The Punisher. And make no mistake, people WILL be punished--but he's still on the 3rd best team in the East.  

1 comment:

Jeff & Jeremy said...

Ah Glenner, so good to hear from you. Yes, you are far away from Shaq. Be glad. Be oh so glad.