Ok first of all, did you see Will Ferrell on Conan O'Brien? My goodness gracious. The whole bit about calling his kid "Magnus" was sheer hilarity.
"I AM MAGNUS! I am the Breath of Man! I may be a baby, but I have Man's Breath!!"
Anyways, if you've seen it, you know what I'm talking about. If you haven't, well keep in mind I live in NOrth Dakota. That will probably be a recurring theme with me--always, ALWAYS, remember that I live in North Dakota. If all other reason fails, that alone should explain what ends up getting posted on here.
When Jer and I take over the world, many things will change, and of course all will be for the better. Here are just two of the things that NEED to happen that will finally happen (in no order of importance, by the way):
--David Stern and the NBA will no longer be allowed to support the WNBA with cash flow. The WNBA teams will be on their own. Being somebody who believes in gender equity, and equal rights, I figure hey, if the WNBA is indeed as good as the NBA (which the commercials and endless media EPSN forces down our throats more than suggests)then they shouldn't have to be kept afloat by MEN. So they're on their own. And, of course, like that women's soccer league that went belly-up after half a season (nobody cares about men's soccer here-WHAT THE HELL MADE THEM THINK ANYBODY WOULD WANT TO WATCH WOMEN"S SOCCER?!?!?!), the WNBA would flame out in no time, and the blame would fall on the American public and corporations for being sexist and not supporting the league.
Fine with me. Just because we watch men's sports does NOT mean we have to watch women's sports. We don't. Ladies, play all you want, start as many leagues and teams as you can, and good luck to you. Have fun. But we, as sports fans, and as men, are not obligated to watch and give you money and support you!!
--I am taking over the NHL. Upon taking over, every team in a warm weather climate (except Dallas, because I'm afraid of Texas) and the LA Kings (because they have supported that team since the '70's) will be canned. Immediately. Oh, except Phoenix will be sent back to Winnipeg and Carolina will give its team back to Hartford. The owners of the teams who got canned, from places like Florda, Atlanta, Nashville, and ESPECIALLY the fine people at Disney who named a team the Mighty F*&^ing Ducks, will flip the bill for new arenas in Hartford and Winnipeg. The rest of their money (if there's any left over) will go to teams in Western Canada. This is their pennance for screwing up a perfectly good game by trying to sell it to people who didn't want it. How this happened and how to fix it is a whole nother blog topic completely (and not to worry, I will find time to write that one), but trust me, when I take over the NHL the number of teams will drop, the talent-level will go back up, and penalties will actually be called. And goalies will no longer be allowed to wear sumo suits.
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3 comments:
Tis true, when Jeffrey and I run the world things will be different in sports... I'm just not so sure about this NHL thing. Jeff, you can run hockey, I'll take golf, and we can tag-team the other sports. Speaking of tag-teams, what about wrestling? Can we do away with that one?
Yes, golf is yours. And yes, I know you don't care about hockey (except when the damn Wild beat the Canucks in the playoffs. Then EVERYBODY cares!!). But I care. I LOVE hockey when it's played right. Like the Olympics, or in juniors or in the upcoming World Cup of Hockey. I'm probably the only person in this country that is excited for that--mostly because any American hockey fan knows their team sucks. Canada rules!
OH yeah, and wrestling (both fake and real) are DEFINITLEY OUT! I've never understood the appeal of rolling around on a mat in a 1-piece spandex suit with another sweaty man--I mean unless you're Will Ferrell in Ladies Man, then I totally understand.
"It's got just a hint of lemon. You really should try it."
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