Jeff: E!SPN

I've finally reached my breaking point. I've had enough, and I'm not going to take it anymore!! Henceforth, ESPN will now be referred to on this site as E!SPN, only a slight variation of the E! entertainment network. The self-proclaimed "World Wide Leader in Sports" is becoming the "Gossip-for-Schoolgirls" network for men. Sportscenter is now 30-90 minutes of who said what about whom, what color somebody's shoes are this week, what hairstyles are in, who a guy's favorite rapper is, and how he feels about. Oh and if they get time, they might even throw in a highlight or two from an actual game. Anchors like Stu Scott and Linda Cohen haven't said one original thing in a decade. They're using the same shtick they were using when they started at the network, when their one-liners were actually amusing. Why not just hire Leeza Gibons and Joan Rivers as your anchors, and Brooke Burke and Tara Reid as your reporters and get it over with. "This week, Brooke talks to Shaq and Steve Nash about their hair, their groupies- and their spa of the month."

And you know what the saddest part of it all is? It's not that E!SPN has decided that us sportsfans are so dumb, all we want are chicks in bikinis, cool graphics, and snappy, overused one-liners. No the worst part is that E!SPN can get away with this because they know that real sportsfans like myself and the Jer have nowhere else to go. HOw in the name of BOOYAH! are there 19 cooking channels and shows about how to fix your sink, and yet there's so little choice for factual sports news?!? E!SPN knows there's no competition out there, so they can keep throwing this garbage on there and people like me will watch just hoping for 5 minutes of highlights and analysis. Fox Sports found a niche with regional networks, but anything other than actual games or the Best Damn Sports Show Period! (which is on about every 15 minutes), look like the cable access channel.

In this world of 24 hour cable networks and the internet, E!SPN is so worried about being able to hold a viewer for more than 15 seconds that they're throwing this and any other garbage on to get people watching. Believe it or not, people like myself and Jer, and others out there, are actually able to wade through all the media crap that we're inundated with on a daily basis, and find what we like. But they screw the die-hard knowledgeable sportsfan simply because they know they can!! If somebody out there has enough money to start your own network, or to buy an existing one, please: don't start another "how to make tofu taste like meat while giving your bathroom that post-modern look" channels. They're everywhere. Instead, start a real sports network that shows games, analyzes them, and previews them. You can leave who Tom Brady's dating or what color TO's underwear is for the folks in Bristol. They'll cover that and more next on E!SPN Sportsce!nte!r, hosted by Paris Hilton and one of the Queer Eye Guys.