Jeff: NBA Preview Part 1: The Very Least

I realize that myself, Jeremy, and my buddy Joel, are about the only 3 NBA fans left. The Olympics showed just how awful USA Basketball can be, and I’ll fully admit the style of play and fundamentals in the league has never been worse. The World Series has wrapped up, the NFL is in full-swing and Michigan hasn’t screwed up its Rose Bowl chances yet (it’s coming though, don’t worry). Yet despite all that, I am just plain giddy for the start of the NBA season. You know what? I can’t explain it so why bother? And honestly, how many of you really care anyways? Exactly! So then, here’s my NBA preview, starting with the East. Why? Because it has to be done, so might as well get the worst out of the way first.

THE LEAST:
Let’s be clear here: I don’t care that the Pistons, Pacers and Heat reside in the Leastern Conference this season: this is THE WORST CONFERENCE IN THE HISTORY OF PROFESSIONAL SPORTS. Ever. After the top 3 it’s really anyone’s guess, and to be honest, I'm still not sold on Miami being a title contenderAlso remember that everybody in this conference but the Big 3 would be lottery bound if the NBA seeded regardless of conference. Just keep that in mind.

15. Charlotte Bobcats: With the league already watered down, it just made sense to add yet another team. Really how did it not? But they’re here, and they’re dead last. And hey, they have bright orange jerseys, so what’s not to love? Well they have fan support, which a lot of teams can’t say. They also have nowhere to go but up. To be honest, most of the teams in the Least would love to be in Charlotte’s position. Stop laughing, I’m serious. No expectations, some decent young talent and TONS of cap room to work with. If the Bob’s play their cards right, they won’t be in the cellar long.
Must Step Up: Emeka Okafor needs to prove he was worthy of a top pick, and he’ll get every opportunity. If his back holds up, he’s the definite front runner for rookie of the year.
In the End... this team will be borderline unwatchable as a whole. Gerald Wallace should have the most Sportscenter highlights for guys on a crappy team. Hey you have to start somewhere.

14. Chicago Bulls: Ah, the Baby Bulls, seemingly forever in rebuilding mode. Jerry Krause showed he had no clue how to rebuild, and new GM Jim Paxson is taking his time figuring things out. This is far and away the youngest team in the league, and it may be tough to develop them without some veteran influence. Paxson looks to have gotten things right when he drafted former Kansas Jayhawk star Kirk Hinrich to run the show. Hinrich came on last year and has been playing well in the preseason. Ben Gordon and Luol Deng were both top 10 picks from the latest draft who will be counted on heavily in their first year.
Must Step Up: Eddy Curry has an all-world body, and if he had any desire whatsoever, would be an all-star center for years to come. Curry, at just 22, is already in his contract year and reported to camp in the best shape of his career. For Chicago, it'd be best if he'd start living up to potential--so they can trade him by the deadline in February. Curry has all the makings of a career underachiever.
In The End...There's just no way all this young talent comes together at the same time. Since MJ and the gang were kicked out of town, this team keeps taking steps backwards. The Bulls need to pick some pieces and start building.

13. New Jersey Nets: If you see the Nets ranked higher than this elsewhere, it's only because of reputation. Yes, this WAS one of the best teams in the East the last few years, but to call this team a shell of its former self would be doing a disservice to shells everywhere. K-Mart is gone. Kerry Kittles, who wasn't even that great to begin with, is gone. Jason Kidd is out until at least January with a knee injury, and that's bad for Nets fans (wait, there are no Nets fans), because Kidd wants out in the worst way, and he knows the only way out is to prove he's healthy. So if his timetable to return keeps getting pushed back, as it has, you know things are bad for JKidd. Of course the longer he's out the less we have to see of his damn wife and kid.
Must Step Up: Richard Jefferson signed a long-term contract. Why? Nobody but RJ knows. Jefferson had a horrible Olympics and will be looking to silence doubters about his worth in the NBA. Honestly, Jefferson could score 50 a night and it wouldn't matter. This team is just awful. But hey, he's got his money. Welcome to the NBA.
In The End...Without Kidd, their starting lineup, including Jefferson, is Aaron Williams, Jason Collins, Ron Mercer, and Jacque Vaughn. Excluding Jefferson, those guys not only wouldn't start anywhere else in the NBA, they'd have trouble cracking an NBDL starting lineup.

12. Atlanta Hawks: They did make some whole sale changes, and do, like the Bobs, have plenty of cap room to work with next summer. They’re going to need to win some games thought if they want to lure anyone to the worst pro sports market in the US. Antoine Walker will have every opportunity to score, rebound, handle the ball and anything else he wants to do. Al Harrington now has a chance to prove he's a legit starter. Other than that, not much happening here.
Must Step Up: We all miss the old Antoine Walker, you know, the one that hoisted 3's like his jersey was on fire and the only way to put it out was to shoot more 3's. And if that didn't work, well then he'd just shoot 3's. Keep in mind, he’s 6'8 and 240 and a pretty decent lowpost scorer and rebounder. Last year in Big D, Walker was lost in the rotation with plenty of other guys who liked to shoot 3's and to whom the concept of defense was a foreign as most of their home countries. This year, in Hotlanta, he’ll get all the shots he wants, and the Hawks need him to be scoring 22+ pts a game for them to have any hope.
In the End... hope like the playoffs? Um, no. To get enough wins to get some more help for Toine, and that's if he sticks around next year. When Kenny Anderson is slated as your starting point guard, you know it’s going to be a LONG year for the 7 or 8 people that show up to watch Hawks games this year. Montreal Expos attendance figures make the Hawks folks envious.

11. Toronto Raptors: An absolute train wreck-- and they're better than 4 other teams!! (have I mentioned how monumentally bad the East is? Just making sure) Their “star” player, Vince Carter, who should have been the best player in the league by now, whines almost as much as he fades away and gets injured. What a guy. An anti-leader if there is such a thing. The worst thing for the Raptors is that everybody else in the league knows it and won't give the Raps market value for him. Carter WAS putting fanny's in the seats with his occasional spectacular dunk, but now even Toronto fans have caught on, booing him all preseason. That could be because once Carter takes a hit, he avoids the paint the rest of the game like it were made of ebola.
Must Step Up: Jalen Rose hasn't exactly been a character guy. Once the leader of the Fab Five, all he's been leading is one crash-and-burn-job after another on his way to 4 different teams that have gone nowhere. He's entering his 30's but still has some impressive offensive skills, and needs to put them to work if the Raptors have any hope at all.
In the End... Toronto has a gem in 2nd year forward Chris Bosh, and if they want him to develop, they need to keep him as far away from Carter as possible. Not saying that Bosh will be anywhere close to KG, but the Wolves had a similar situation when they got Garnett, and had to clear out some bad seeds like Isaiah Rider and Christian Laettner. THe Raps probably won't win no matter what, so getting rid of Carter and building around Bosh should be the priority.

10. Orlando Magic: It would have been bad enough if the Magic had traded Tracy McGrady to the Houston Rockets for Steve Francis, Cuttino Mobley, and Kelvin Cato. But when the Rockets get Juwan Howard in the deal as well? It's obvious that somebody in Houston has pictures of Magic GM John Weisbrod and Grant Hill together in compromising positions. There's just no other way this deal could happen. The Magic could have gotten plenty of young talent to rebuild around #1 pick Dwight Howard. Instead they trade for Francis, who has been a disaster everywhere he's been. Stevie gets the number's he wants at the expense of everybody else. If he wouldn't pass to Yao Ming, do you really think he's going to pass to Howard?
Must Step Up: This is becoming an annual event in Orlando. For the 4th year in a row, it's the "This is Grant Hill's Year to stay healthy." It's a lot of fun, really. Mickey and Minnie wear casts on their ankles and Goofy pulls the ol' fall-down-on-crutches gag. Can't help but love it. This year they're even getting a cake--but instead of a stripper hopping out it's Donald Duck with a mallot who breaks Hill's ankle like James Caan in Misery. They figure it's the only way to keep Hill from making failed comebacks.
In the End...With or without Hill, they're not contending. Developing Howard should be priority #1, but when you have team Stevie Franchise-Killer, well good luck on that one. I almost want them to make the playoffs so when it gets to crunch-time, the Magic players can stand around and watch Stevie go one-on-five and shoot airballs like he did against the Lakers last year. You just can't put a price on that kind of fun. Really, how bad could those pics of Weisbrod and Hill been?

9. New York Knicks: Bad team with bad management with bad players with bad attitudes and even worse contracts. Get the idea? Yet they're David Stern's team so you'll be seeing them a lot on TV, and probably in the playoffs. I don't think they're good enough but I don't run the league like a mob family and I don't think the Knicks should be competitve every year just because they're in New York. To say this team is over the salary cap is to say the Pacific Ocean is a pretty good-sized body of water. Plus they have Stephon Marbury, maybe my least favorite player of all time. Wait...yup, he is.
Must Step Up: Jamal Crawford NEEDS to take the starting 2 guard spot. Allan Houston is making $100 million a year missing jump shots, but they can't keep him in there just because of the contract. Crawford needs to score and defend to give this team a chance.
In the End... If David Stern wants this team in the playoffs, he's going to have to force somebody to make a trade with the Knicks again. Remember that deal last year that sent Marbury from Phoenix to New York? You really think Suns owner Jerry Colangelo wanted to make that deal? Of course not, but when Guito and Vinny have your hand in a vice grip and are threatening to "take you on a trip to the desert", well you make the deal.

8. Milwaukee Bucks: Congratulations, you're in the playoffs!! Now you get to have your heads beat in by the Pacers or Pistons. AND you have no shot in the lottery. The Bucks get one of the last 3 playoff spots that nobody wants. 2nd year PG TJ Ford's health determines the fate of this team. With him, they've got a good chance of hosting a 1st round playoff game. Without him, they'll struggle to make the playoffs. Ford is lightning fast and at just 6 feet (if he's 6 feet tall then I weight 300 pounds) is still able to get to the rim. Around him there's nobody flashy, just guys, like their head coach Terry Porter, that will outwork the other team and make few mistakes. Apparently they call it "team basketball". You won't see it much in the NBA.
Must Step Up: Michael Redd is the NBA's most underrated player. STILL amazed that he wasn't on the Olympic team. He hits shots, plays D and doesn't turn the ball over. Oh and he also doesn't run his mouth. I guess the Olympic commitee is looking for punks. Too bad, because Redd is a good one. He was an allstar last year and especially with Ford out, can't shoot enough again this year.
In the End...They play hard, they play well, they play together. If this were a league where things like teamwork, passing, and defense were encouraged, well the Bucks would have a chance. Alas this is the NBA, where The Don Stern prefers one-on-one streeball, so the Bucks will be a one and done in the playoffs.

7. Cleveland Cavaliers: Players are getting softer. If Michael Jordan or Larry Bird had a teammate that ditched their team to sign somewhere else, especially in the way Carlos Boozer did it, do you REALLY think they would have played on the Olympic team with that guy? If he somehow didn't end up at the bottom of a river somewhere, either one of those guys would go out of their way to score 60 whenever they played him. Lebron? Played on the Olympic team with Boozer. Their buddies. It's cool. Maybe when you're making over $100 million dollars this is how you feel.
Must Step Up: Duh. LBJ was beyond expectations last year, and he needs to take it to a "top-5-player" status this season for this team to make the playoffs. And, not sure if I mentioned this, considering how bad the rest of this conference is, that should tell you Lebron's not getting much help here.
In the End... Drew Gooden will be an ok replacement at the 4, "Big Z" will continue to be one of the ugliest, awkwardest (is that a word? It is now), gangly, uncoordinated white guys to average 15 pts a game. Eric Snow and Jeff McInnis will be serviceable, and I really think Dierks Bentley's twin brother Luke Jackson (good lord did I just make a country music reference? sorry, it's been a long week) could be one of the steals of the draft. Still, Lebron needs a lot more help.

6. Boston Celtics: They finally drafted well. They have Raef MyFriends healthy, which might actually be a good thing, they overspent to resign C Mark Blount, again a good thing, and if they can get Gary Payton to just shut the f--wait nobody's been able to do that, but if they get a decent season out of GP, the Celtics could be on the mend.
Must Step Up: It wasn't that long ago that Paul Pierce and Vince Carter were battling for that coveted title of "Next". We saw what adversity did to VC--he'd grab his purse, hike up his skirt and run like hell the other way (think he and A-Rod hang out? Somebody needs to introduce them. 2 guys who will never be winners. Ever). Pierce has already proven he's a fighter, since he was stabbed mulitple times a couple of summers ago while back home in LA (gang violence in LA? What?), and responded with an all-star season. The verbal stabbings he's been taking pale in comparison, yet Pierce still has an image to resurrect.
In the End...You couldn't pay me enough to have Danny Ainge run my basketball team. Still, after this draft and looking at this team, dare I say Danny might have a plan? High schooler Al Jefferson could be a beast by season's end, and Delonte West is another one of those crazy kids that stayed in school all 4 years, has fundamentals and can shoot the lights out (basically he's not Olympic material). If Payton doesn't self-implode and bring everybody else down with him, this team has a future.

5. Washington Wizards: Yup, this is my sleeper in the East. Now two years removed from the Michael Jordon fiasco, the Wiz are ready to make a jump. Last year's big free agent signee, Gilbert Arenas, was on the shelf most of the year and virtually non-existent. He should team with this year's big catch, Antawn Jamison, to form a solid young, and more importantly talented, nucleus. How fast do you think it took the Wiz to pull the trigger on that trade that got them Jamison, sending Jerry Stackhouse out of town? What's faster than a millisecond? And this should tell you all you need to know about the state of the NBA: the center combo of Brendan Haywood and Etan Thomas is one of the league's best. Let that sink in a minute.
Must Step Up: No, it's not Kwame Brown. He needs a change of scenery or just some heart and desire, to amount to anything. Nope the guy they need is Jarvis Hayes, last year's lottery pick. Hayes is primed to bust out huge if he can get enough shots from Jamison and Arenas. Hayes is 6'7 with a smooth stroke, and actually shows signs of some defensive ability. If Hayes can become a consistent scoring threat the Wizards will score some points this year.
In the End...Imagine if the Warriors actually hung on to some talent. Yes, Jamison, Arenas and Larry Hughes were starters for that team a couple of years ago. That team went nowhere, but all three have matured and have much more around them now. The Wizards have been awful for years, but things are starting to turn around.

4. Philadelphia 76ers: He carried the Olympic team on his back, he's onto his 19th coach in the last couple of years, AND he has to have Glenn Robinson as a teammate. And yet, here's Allen Iverson, still going and going strong. Will moving AI back to the point work? He's going to get his shots no matter where he plays, but he's starting to figure out that getting his teammates involved isn't the worst idea.
Must Step Up: Sam Dalembert averaged 12 pts, 12 boards, and almost 4 blocks a game the last two months of the season. So how'd he start off the'04 season? By getting demoted out of the starting lineup. Nice work, Sam. Head coach Jim O'Brien is laying down the law early, and it'll benefit Dalembert. The Sixers need him to be that force in the middle he was late last season because, well, they'd be one of the few teams in the league that would have one.
In the End...Not on par with the top 3, but better than everybody else. Hey, at least it's something. Kenny Thomas and Aaron McKie are a couple of wiley vets that need to stay healthy and help AI. The #4 spot is theirs to lose.

3. Miami Heat: Look, I know they have Shaq, but I still have trouble ranking a team with Christian Laettner as the starting power forward this high. We're all familiar with Christian Laettner right? Makes Alex Rodriguez look manly. Was a little TOO close with roommate (which in Duke terms means "lifepartner") Brian Davis in college. When he was at Duke he was maybe one of the most detestable people ever to live. And we all hate him, right? Just checking.
Must Step Up: EVERYBODY BUT SHAQ AND WADE. I hate to overstate the obvious, but without Shaq and Wade, this team makes Ashlee Simpson look talented. I mean this team has NOTHING else besides Shaq and Dwayne. And yet they're a number 3 seed in this conference and people, with straight faces, are actually talking about this team as a title contender. Welcome to the NBA.
In the End...Look, I'm not about to doubt AngryShaq, but how is this team any better than the Lakers team they had last year? I love Wade and hate Kobe, but Dwayne's got a ways to go to be in Kobe's class. And have I mentioned they have NOTHING ELSE around these two? I think Shaq will be on a mission but will the body hold up? Nothing less than 27 and 15 a night from the big fella keeps them in contention. Oh, and he has to play a full season.

2. Indiana Pacers: Never thought I'd say this, but losing Jeff Foster to injury for a couple of months hurts them. He wasn't spectacular last season, but if you've been following along, decent centers are harder to come by than you think (want to be a millionaire? Grow a kid that;s 7'2. Guaranteed millions even if he's never heard of basketball. Or a lefty that can change speeds and keep the ball around the strike zone. But I digress). With him out this means more Jermaine O'Neal at center, and last year he was bordering on fragile. The Pacers just signed PG Jamal Tinsley to a 7-year-deal. This from a guy who shoots as well as Keith Richards stays sober, and well, you could call his decision-making "Keith Richards-esque". And this is the point guard of a championship contender? For some reason, I'm just not impressed with Indiana.
Must Step Up: At what point do you tell Reggie Miller not to show up anymore? Change the locks maybe? Tell him the team has relocated to Gary? Stephen Jackson NEEDS to be the crunch-time 2 guard on this team. He has championship experience from his days with the Spurs, and the Pacers desparately need him to consistently hit the outside shot. And keep Reggie off the floor.
In the End...Same results as last year. Good regular season, maybe they steal the #1 seed, but in the end, the Pistons come back to get them. I'm saying that because I just can't stomach the thought of Tinsley leading a team to the title. They DO have Ron Artest. Anybody else miss the old Artest? I hope he skips his anger-management meetings. It adds so much more to the season.

1. Detroit Pistons: They're baaaaaaaack. World Champs last year and they've added even more. Last year's #1, Carlos Delfino, looked very good in the Olympics and should make an impact. If McDyess knees, which are as dependable as Rasheed Wallace in a non-contract year (uh oh), hold up, he'll be a nice complement off the bench. The Pistons sport the most cohesive starting 5 in the league, and now they know how to win. Just imagine if they'd of had a #1 draft pick last year. Oh they did? Darko who? The kid with the dyed blond hair and ear rings? No seriously, who'd they draft? I mean, if they HAD a pick last year, wouldn't they have taken Carmello Anthony? Right?
Must Step Up: They need Rasheed Wallace to play like he did down the stretch last year. The Sheed everyone thought he could be. A shooter, defender and rebounder--AND not completely stoned all the time. He was the key to their run last year. Here's the problem for this season: he got his big fat contract extension (probably not half as big as the blunt's he's been rolling all offseason), and that will mean he reverts back to the old Rasheed. The Pistons better keep the snack guy close to the bench this year.
In the End...They're the champs, and they got everybody of meaning back. They even added a few nice pieces. They're the favorites in the East. They'll be in the Finals again. I just don't see them being better than the Spurs or Timberpuppies because they lack that go-to-guy--unless you're talking about the guy that gets Sheed snacks during games when he's got the munchies. That guy will be one tired man.