Jeremy: Equal Opportunity Spabbling

Now that I've mostly recovered from the Gopher's collapse against Michigan last weekend I figured that I should let people know that I'm doing okay. Of course the irrational behavior that comes with being a Minnesota sports fan still continues.
I spent a good part of the week mourning the loss of the 2004 Minnesota Twins. (Speaking of which, I hope our farm system is as good as the team is letting on, because the Twinks sure will look different if they do indeed let Guzy and Jaque go.)
I also spent about 90 minutes on-line one night this week trying to figure out if the Gophers could still win the Big 10. I might be working with that "new math" or it could be my lack of "old math" but I think the Gophers can still do it. But there are two problems. First, Purdue Quarterback Kyle Orton. Second, Wisconsin's defense. We'll find out today which one is the bigger pr0blem. It's highly possible that the Big 10 will be won by a team with one conference loss. If this happens and the Gophers are one of those teams, we are Pasadena bound based on the fact that the team with the longest absence from the Rose Bowl, in the scenario, gets to smell the roses. The strength of our schedule, or actually lack thereof, might divert our tickets to Pasadena. In some past years when the Big 10 was especially tough we actually might have had a better shot because a couple of teams could be BCS bound. But it looks like, based on the fact that the entire Big 10 seems to be spending the fall of 2004 beating up on each other, that we will be lucky to have one BCS bound team this year.
Have you heard about this one? The girls swimming coach at Cold Springs high school near St. Cloud has been suspended. It seems that the coach had been allowing something called "Two-piece Tuesday," where the girls could where bikinis to their Tuesday practices. Harmless right? Apparently this Tuesday ritual got out of hand. As it turns out "Two-piece Tuesday" turned into "Topless Tuesday" recently. For some reason the school board didn't like this. They called it a dangerous situation. So listen, I'm off next Tuesday, anybody up for a road trip?
In early August I was telling people that, for the first time ever, I was more excited about the upcoming Gopher football and Timberwolves seasons than I was for the Vikings season. I was not wrong about this. Here we are 5 weeks into the NFL season and all I can think about is how many rushing yards Barbaroney will have this week and can Sam Cassell's body hold it together for an entire season. (Speaking of which, just in case Sam's postman is reading this: can you put a hold on his AARP card? I'm afraid he might get the wrong impression.) I know I've talked about this several times, but with Shaq suddenly in the Eastern Conference things look very good for the Pups. Of course the West is always tough, but Shaq was really the only reason we weren't facing the Pistons for the championship last year.
It's the most wonderful time of the year.